Tips for sabotaging a fantasy draft

I am in three fantasy leagues this year. Two of them are good and fun and wonderful. I have a good time being in those leagues. The third league is annoying as hell. It always has been, but it’s the only one I am in with Steve (neither of us run the league) so I keep coming back. This year, after I signed up, the rules were changed to some seriously asinine stuff (points for an attempted pass?! Carries?!) and the entry fee was upped from nothing to 20 dollars. It’s not that I am opposed to spending money on a fantasy league, it’s just that I am opposed to doing so in a league where I don’t know anyone and don’t even live in the same state, perhaps not even the same time zone as any of the other members. Most of the managers don’t know any of the other managers. It was throwing money at nothing. I wanted out.

Of course, all of the teams were locked and I couldn’t get out. My new plan was to sabotage the online draft by creating the stupidest team possible. I sought the advice of others, and added a few tips of my own. If you also wish to completely sandbag your fantasy draft, please follow these tips:

– Draft Tebow and Sanchez. Say you want a QB controversy. – Ryan Boyd

– Bret Favre! – Jon DeJong

– Draft only running backs coming off knee/achilles injuries. They’ve got something to prove!

– Grab Gronk in the first round. Tremendous value pick

– Stock the bench spots with kickers

– Add quarterbacks based on height. Lowest to highest. Hellooooo Russell Wilson!

– Make sure you draft someone else’s favorite player right ahead of them. Actually, I’m not sure that’s sabotaging, because I did it to Eric last night. Sorry!

– Draft as many Vikings as possible

– Terrell Owens, Chad Johnson, Chris Cooley and Warren Moon

– Let Terry Bradshaw draft your team.

– Let the Jacksonville Jaguars front office draft your team.

I hope that these pointers have helped you on your way to a disastrous fantasy football team! I’ll keep you posted.

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