If anyone was going to ruin Christmas, it was going to be Antti Raanta and the New York Rangers.
For two straight years, the Rangers ruined the Penguins lives, knocking them out of the playoffs in humiliating fashion. Then last spring, Pens were able to eviscerate that goddamn monkey on their backs.
But then the NHL was gracious enough to give us 3 of the 5 Rangers games this season in the two weeks leading up to the only holidays anyone gives a shit about, providing them with an opportunity to ruin both Thanksgiving and Christmas in one fell swoop.
They almost ruined Thanksgiving more than stuffing already does. But two days after a humbling 5-2 loss at home, the Pens decimated the Rangers and chased Lundqvist again at MSG the night before Thanksgiving, 6-1, saving the holiday for everyone.
Raanta played in both, starting only the 5-2 game, while posting a 2.76 GAA, .923 SV%, and a 1-0-0 record against the Pens this year. He came into this game with a 0.74 GAA, .923 SV%, and a 3-1-0 record with 2 shutouts in December as well.
Instead, the Pens opened up Christmas week with a curb stomping fueled by yet another 3rd period wildfire, scorching the Rangers worse than the Sept of Baelor and cruising down I-70 with a 7-2 victory in their backpocket.
FIRST PERIOD
Pens came out of the gates like they did a couple 8balls of crank and were fully torqued, registering 5 shots in the first 2 minutes of the game before getting a 4 minute powerplay for Klein drawing blood on Hagelin with a high stick. When it looked like they would go the full 4 without anything to show for it, 87 would pop up for his 22nd on the season. 1-0
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Literally not enough words in the English language anymore to describe how good he is and how unfair/nasty that goal was. What a set up from Cole too.
The ice kind of level out after the goal as the Rangers became a little less pedestrian with a big shift to hem Pouliot-Ruhwedel-Kunitz-Malkin-Hornqvist in their own zone. Say whatever you want about Pouliot “still being young” and “not getting to play enough games due to [X],” with X being literally whatever excuse you want it to be today, but you cannot look at the play he made on the OT goal against Toronto and the following and think it’s fine:
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It’s not youth, either. Even young players look where they’re passing the puck. At least Murr made the save look easier than hiding a jerk sesh on an NFL sideline.
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Despite getting shit on for most of the period and getting out-shot 22-9, the Rags weren’t picking up the social cues and fucking off. Instead, they got the Pens following the puck a bit in the neutral zone on a breakout, drawing Kunitz and Hornqvist to Hrivik. He hit Puempel on the weak side streaking up the left wing wall to fire a shot that handcuffed Murray. 1-1
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Tough shot for Murray to really handle. Right next to his ear.
SECOND PERIOD
Two minutes into the period, Pouliot would put the Pens down a man after tripping Brady Skjei for having a more idiotic than Derrick. They’d kill it off and HCMS loaded up with Kessel and Malkin as soon as it was over. They would not disappoint. 2-1
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Kessel is so damn elite. Carrying the mail but also his vision and passing to make the initial pass. Great set up from Kunitz too. Pens did a lot of this last night as well more so than usual: bringing a forward deep on the breakout to carry the puck through the neutral zone.
Three minutes later, Kevin Hayes took a run at Kunitz and the Pens would head back to the PP. A little perimeter work opened up a lane for Malkin to hit Kessel with an outrageous pass. Phil walked out of the corner, waited, and fired a shot through Raanta. 3-1
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Toronto reviewed it to make sure it crossed the line. Note sure it’s a goal if it’s laying flat on the ice.
Kreider would run Murray shortly thereafter to put the Pens back on the peep before Crosby would cut it short by kneeing Grabner. Not the greatest looking play, but he gets all of the calls so it’s fine.
The Pens would have to kill off an Ian Cole hooking penalty to get to the third period, but just before he went off, he made an shifty little play to help almost put the Pens up 4-1. Raanta doing more splits than Riley Reid to rob Rust.
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THIRD PERIOD
Through 40 minutes, no one had more chances in the game than Michael Grabner. He got stopped by Murray on one breakaway, hit the post on another, and fanned on a 3rd. But 2 minutes into the period, he wouldn’t miss a 4th time. Stepan gained the zone, threw a pass across the ice that McDonut let go to reach Grabner. Murr got a piece of it, but it wasn’t enough. 3-2
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But about 2 minutes after the goal, the Pens would score 2 in 2.
First, on a neutral zone gang bang, Hornqvist would hunt down the puck and steal it from Zuccarello. The Kunitz-Malkin-Hornqvist line wasn’t about leaving the zone, cycling the puck well. Hornqvist stood on top of Raanta while Schultz pinched down and Schultz banked a shot in off McDonut. 4-2
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Then they’d score yet another 3rd period transition goal. Cole got it started with a nice play along the wall in the D-zone before skyhooking the puck out. Crosby latched on, imposed his will, and shot it off Rust. 5-2
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Hornqvist would add a goal of his own 6 minutes later with Brady Skjei in the box. 6-2
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With 10.9 seconds left, Bonino would be gift-wrapped a goal after Brady Skjei vomited on his dick and gave a simple dump in away like he was Derrick Pouliot. 7-2
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Ball game.
RANDOM NOTES
- Powerplay went 3/5 on the night, which is p good.
- Malkin with 3 points (1G, 2A), Crosby and Kessel with a goal and an assist each.
- Should be no doubt that Murray is this team’s starter. Made 26 saves, including having to make just 3 in the third.
- Pens attempted 57 shots last night, while the Blue Shits had just 33. Pens attempted 19 of those in the 3rd alone. Just hitting the nitrous and going.
- Dumoulin and Maatta looked good together. Dumo was an obscene +21 5v5 Corsi +/-, while Maatta was second best on the night with a +14. Maatta was credited with 7 hits too. Kunitz (+11), Malkin (+11), Hornqvist (+10) led among forwards. They were a nightmare all night for the Blue Shits to deal with.
- Live look at Justin Schultz on July 1, 2017. And yes, he’s gonna be wearing an American flag stunt suit.
Pens have to travel to Columbus to take on the red-hot Blue Jackets Thursday night before hosting the Devils Friday night. Christmas isn’t quite saved yet. Do it.
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