FOE FODDER – The Seattle Mariners

The Angels return to the Big A after their 10-game road trip to Oakland, Minnesota and Chicago. 

By the way, what the hell, Major League Baseball? You send a southern California team out on a 10-game road trip in April? I don’t know who is ultimately responsible for signing off on the final MLB schedule, but his wSE+ (weighted schedule efficiency +) is the equivalent of Fernando Salas’ “out pitch.” Come on, MLB! Get your ass in gear and send those cold-weather teams out west and down south in April. There’s a reason the White Sox are 25th in home attendance in 2016 – if you’re a fat and pasty from the windy city it’s about 50/50 you’ll get shot by Chicago PD by the time you make it to the Red Line, a quest that is much more appealing in June. Obviously, you can’t send every cold weather team on the road for a month to open the season, but you can certainly let those teams visit each other and weight the home/road split in favor of the warm weather teams to begin the season. 

Onto the Seattle Mariners:  I love the city of Seattle – a great place to visit, provided you’re happily married. If you’re looking to pick up broads, you’d better have a fetish for North Face and social justice. 

The Seattle Mariners, otherwise known as Felix Hernandez and 24 other guys who hate living in the Pacific Northwest, are perhaps those most below average baseball team since the 2015 Seattle Mariners. As I sit here writing this edition of Foe Fodder on Wednesday at 4PM, the M’s are off to a 5-8 start through their first 13 games, which means they’re on pace to suck. 

The 2016 version of the M’s is led by new General Manager, former Major League shitty relief pitcher Jerry Dipoto, who completed 28 transactions between his hire date and the end of 2015, most notable of which were naming Manny Acta 3rd base coach on November 10th & claiming infielder An

**Editor’s Note: We apologize for this abbreviated version of Foe Fodder, as the writer abruptly quit before completing it.  Like many of you, he lost interest in the Seattle Mariners early into the piece.