The ‘Respect Jeter’s Gangster’ blog shows that the Yankees are fearing the Red Sox:
Coming off their 27th World Championship, it looked like the New York Yankees would be favorites to win the AL East next season, however, the Red Sox have put a road block in the Yankees hopes by signing the game changer, Marco Scutaro. Scutaro had a monster year for Toronto batting in out-of-this-world .282 with 12 homeruns [sic] and 60 RBI’s. With Scutaro joining the Red Sox, Pedroia no longer has to worry about moving to short. Scutaro is a known winner, having played for such powerhouse teams as the Mets, Athletics, and Blue Jays. Now that he’s with Boston, the Red Sox have secured their position as contenders.
C.C. (stands for calorie counter) Sabathia will show up 30 pounds overweight after sharing his Yankee dollars all winter with every donut shop, In & Out Burgers, and any all-you-can-eat deal within a 50 mile radius of Vallejo, CA. Burnett and Teixeira will suffer Matsui-like injuries, sidelining them for most of the season. The 4 graybeards (Posada, Jeter, Pettitte, Rivera) are all over the hill. Rivera will blow more saves against the Red Sox. A-Rod will undoubtedly find a way to secure his place in the buffoon hall of fame while resuming his former choking performances (ruing about Kate Hudson, Madonna and her dancers, no doubt, especially her dancers), and since they are funding Sabathia’s stomach refill campaign, they will fail to land Holliday or Halliday since they are not able to sell out the new stadium due to exorbitant ticket prices.
Author Fernando Alejandro goes on to say, “The only way we can counter this signing is if we get Garret Andersen to play left field.” They will fail to land Anderson as well, and are forced to resign Johnny Damon. Lastly, ol’ dumbass Hank will come out of hiding and will resume second guessing Cash-man (appropriate name for the GM of the less than thrifty Yankees.)
Alejandro, the Yankees, and their fans will claim the post was all tongue in cheek, but we know exactly what’s in their heads. They may claim Scutaro’s 2009 numbers were a fluke, but the 2009 Yankees will also prove to be a fluke.
Fear the Nation, 2010 and beyond.
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