Ladies and gentlemen, it is with heavy heart that I must announce that the Penguins are starting to roll.
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before:
The Penguins played a playoff game and Matt Murray recorded a shutout.
It may have been the quietest 26 save shutout of his life, but for those of you keeping track at home, Matt Murray now has 4 shutouts in his last 6 NHL playoff games. That seems good.
Most shutouts before celebrating 24th birthday, #StanleyCup Playoffs history:
6 – Harry Lumley
6 – Terry Sawchuk
6 – @mattmurray_30
5 – Felix Potvin
4 – Martin Brodeur#NHLStats #PITvsPHI pic.twitter.com/ygYzWayTAz— NHL Public Relations (@PR_NHL) April 19, 2018
With his 5-0 shutout tonight, @mattmurray_30 recorded his 25th career playoff win in 36 games played, making him the fastest NHL goalie to reach that milestone. pic.twitter.com/K7DtVdqDJI
— Penguins PR (@PenguinsPR) April 19, 2018
Stop me if you’ve also heard this one before:
The Penguins, led by Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin, scored 5+ goals on the Philadelphia Flyers for the 7th time this year.
Think of your biggest rival. It may be a high school bully, or some dickhead on the internet, or Karen in Accounting who keeps stealing your lunch. Now, pretend you’re a high functioning sociopath and think about how you would dunk on them if you had unlimited time and resources and imagine doing that 7 fucking times. Because, folk’s, that’s where we’re at now.
Let all of this video game type shit just set it for a moment as the Penguins come home looking to clinch against this room temperature bowl of Lucky Charms. Just one more to go.
LINEUP
Welcome to the lineup, Simon! pic.twitter.com/CIYVZfEv4S
— Pittsburgh Penguins (@penguins) April 18, 2018
With Hornqvist being day-to-day with an upper body injury, Dom Simon returned to the lineup to take his spot riding shotty with 87 as the only lineup change from the first 3 games. On the Flyers side of the ice, Badko Gudas murdered Sean Couturier in practice on Wednesday, so that deadass didn’t play either.
when people fuck with me on sites i head for the beach and take it out on the crabs. i punch their shitty little bodies, i kick dirt at them
— pooping_celebs(1).swf (@dril) March 10, 2013
GOALS
PIT – 1st Pd./4:33 – PPG – Malkin; A: Crosby, Phil! – 1-0
Something that truly benefited the Penguins to open up the game was the pace. It moved faster than Paul Walker’s last ride, manifesting with the Penguins taking a 6-2 shot edge within the first 9ish minutes.
And, much like Paul Walker’s last ride, it ended in devastation after just 3 minutes as the Flyers Matt Read got called for holding Dumoulin to put the Pens red hot PP to work. Phil!, Sid, and Gene took all of 93 seconds to put the Flyers to the sword, whipping the puck around before 87 fed the beast on the back post for the opener.
https://gfycat.com/gifs/detail/JollyImmaterialGuillemot
Unreal feed and a fitting way for 87 to tie 66 for all time playoff points in a Penguins sweater. Brandon Manning and Andrew MacDonald continue to be the best Penguins players though.
https://gfycat.com/gifs/detail/PepperyImpishDonkey
PIT – 1st Pd./14:37 – Phil!; A: Malkin – 2-0
Following the goal, the Flyers began exerting their dicks onto the Penguins by thoroughly dominating play and forcing the Pens to eat their own shit in their own zone. It showed up most for a 2 minute stretch with about 8 to play, but an elite Dumo zone exit allowed Crosby’s line to get off the ice. Though the Flyera kept coming hard and fast, they did not account for Phil! lurking to break up a pass from Laughton looking for Sanheim at the point. Malkin released and as Sanheim looked like he was going to have a chance at breaking up the pass, 71 put a stop to that right quick to find Phil!. What a great human Brian Elliott is, playing the role of slump buster with a horrifically bad goal against for Phil! to get off the schneid .
https://gfycat.com/gifs/detail/DamagedBestKid
When you completely and utterly own the play like the Flyers did for that subset of time, giving up a goal at the peak of it is, and was, a total backbreaker. It’s like getting caught eating worms as a kid- you don’t come back from that.
But dat pass doe.
https://gfycat.com/LazyInfamousGermanshepherd
Get fucked, Dave, you Mike Johnston meerkat lookin’ headass.
https://gfycat.com/gifs/detail/VeneratedFewDromaeosaur
The Flyers nightmare first period continued as Konecny got rung up for interfering with ZAR and nearly scored as he got released from the box. Murr was in God Mode though, making the save of the period. This is extra relevant because Maatta threw the rebound over the glass and 8 seconds later on the PP, Simmonds slashed and broke Dumo’s stick to negate it, as if the Flyers weren’t having a bad enough time, and give us 4v4 for the remainder of the 1st.
https://gfycat.com/gifs/detail/SolidWeirdElephant
PIT – 2nd Pd./8:04 – Letang; A: Guentzel – 3-0
Despite Kuhnhackl taking a penalty 3:31 into the 2nd period for holding ValFil, the Penguins had to file for a demolition permit with the city of Philadelphia. Presumably, it was granted; what followed was more of a controlled demo job than 9/11 times 2356.
It all stemmed from the Penguins forechecking, which allowed them to jump out to a 9-1 advantage in shots all the way down to under 7 minutes to play. But hitting that reverse button, it was the Guentzel-Crosby-Simon line 8 minutes into the period setting the stage for the first of two 2nd period goals.
After an O-zone faceoff that got partially cleared and picked at center ice by Simon, he was able to dump it in and let Crosby and Guentzel overwhelm the Flyera along the boards. They’d end up giving the biscuit back to the Flyers after the $30M Man broke up a Crosby pass, but as soon as they got it cleared, Letang was sending it right back down their throats. Guentzel gathered the end-around, sucked Provorov in as the rest of the Flyers coverage broke down watching the puck, allowing Bake to give Letang preemptive permission to snipe to put 58 at the top of postseason scoring among Penguins defensemen all time.
https://gfycat.com/gifs/detail/UnlinedDependableIndianelephant
What a subtle play by Simon to get in front of the net, pull The $30M Man in, then release to leave Andrew MacDonald to screen his own goalie alone.
https://gfycat.com/gifs/detail/AfraidGloriousHairstreak
With that, Hakstunned pulled Elliott in favor of Neuvirth.
I, for one, hope that Flyers fans never change.
PIT – 2nd Pd./10:56 – Crosby; A: Guentzel, Simon – 4-0
But pulling his bad goalie and replacing him with another bad goalie was not about to jumpstart bucket of mashed potatoes. On Crosby and his sons’ next shift, their long dong forecheck was back on display. This time, it was 87 winning the race to Simon’s dump in, chipping it by Gostisbehere to Bake in support. Guentzel, pulling Giroux and Provorov away, reversed it back to 87 to catch Neuvirth sleeping to become the official all time leader in Pens postseason scoring in a very, very Crosby way.
https://gfycat.com/TimelyVainHound
PIT – 3rd Pd./15:46 – Sheahan; A: Maatta, Aston-Reese – 5-0
With a 4-0 lead to kick off the 3rd period, the Penguins took the highway to the Anaconda Zone, choking the life out of the Flyers like they were Ice Cube in a goddamn swamp. Admittedly, the Flyers had the puck for almost the entirety of the 3rd period (16-7 edge in even strength shot attempts), but it was what they did with it (nothing) that really mattered.
After a long Flyera dump in, Maatta and Sheahan retreated to clean it up and work to turn it north. The puck jumped around off the halfwall with ZAR in the area chipping away, finding Maatta to airlift a pass over everyone and into the path of Sheahan streaking through the neutral zone. He was free to walk in all alone and bury one shelf because it’s gotten to the point of the series where Riley Sheahan is scoring goals with the body of a goaltender in the net.
https://gfycat.com/AggressiveSaltyCoral
And that was that, sending the Pens home for a chance to clinch Friday night before any other bullshit could happen from assholes that eat rocks.
Game.
NOTES
- It is becoming increasingly clear that the Flyers have no answer for Crosby and Malkin. A Flyers lineup with Sean Couturier doesn’t change that.
- What a series Jake Guentzel is having. Two assists in this one gives him 1G-6A this series. For all the shit he got for only having 22 goals and 48 points in the regular season, the kid has showed up once again in the playoffs.
- Brian Dumoulin’s 3 game point streak finally comes to an end, but you’ll be hard pressed to find a better D tandem in the playoffs right now than 8 and 58. Once again, Dumo did all of the little things you’d want and need him to do. Thankless.
- The Penguins still have not given up an even strength high danger goal this series. That sure is something.
Game 5 Friday night at the Paint Can. Bury them. LGP.
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