In today’s edition of Freezing Cold Takes #TBT, we will be taking a brief stroll down memory lane to revisit some of sports media’s hottest taeks over the past three years or so regarding the decline (please try to envision the word “decline” in comic sans font if you can) of the best hockey player in the world. And by best, I’m referring to the current best hockey player in the world (hint: it’s not Connor McDavid).
After all the hubbub over the past three weeks or so about Sidney Crosby never scoring a goal again in his professional hockey career, he silenced the haters and the losers (of which there are many) once again last night by scoring one of the best goals you’ll likely see all year.
In case you missed it, let’s take a look.
👏 SIDNEY 👏 CROSBY 👏 IS 👏 SUPER 👏 HUMAN 👏 pic.twitter.com/bS3fxzhrHN
— Pittsburgh Penguins (@penguins) October 24, 2018
No word on whether or not Ryan Strome has officially announced his retirement from professional ice hockey yet, but the good news is his teammate, Connor McDavid, had a nice front row seat to witness big brother pocket an absolute gem of a game winner less than ten feet directly in front of his face.
Edmonton Oiler fans: “Connor McDavid is the best hockey player on the planet. Sidney Crosby: “Hold my beer” pic.twitter.com/RvQwvT6qHD
— Todd Paquette (@tmpaquette) October 24, 2018
Or dooby, Todd. Weed is now legal in your home country.
So now that we have official confirmation that Sidney Crosby still reigns as king of ice hockey, let’s take a look at what some of the shit for brains idiots in sports media have had to say over the past few years about #87’s impending demise.
(Editor’s note: I went a little off the rails and decided to make the list baseball themed in honor of the World Series, which is currently being played.)
1. Leading off, Adrian Dater of Bleacher Report!
November 19, 2015 – What’s Wrong with Sidney Crosby in 2015-2016
2. Batting second, Dave Sheinin of the Washington Post!
December 13, 2015 – Sidney Crosby struggles for answers in career-worst season
3. Batting third, Tim and Sid of Sportsnet!
December 17, 2015 – *MUST WATCH*
Fun fact: Sidney Crosby ended up cracking well inside the top-25 in scoring (3rd, to be specific) in the 2015-2016 regular season. Second fun fact: Phil Kessel has gone on to win two Stanley Cups since the time Tim and Sid vomited out of their assholes in this video.
4. Batting cleanup, Brett Cyrgalis (pictured below attempting to type fecal matter into his computer) of the New York Post!
December 23, 2015 – “Sidney Crosby is a coach-killer – there, we said it”
No, you said it, Brett, you dumb idiot.
5. and 6. Batting fifth and sixth, respectively – Terrence Doyle and Neil Paine of FiveThirtyEight!
November 14, 2017 – What’s wrong with Sidney Crosby?
7. Batting seventh, Kyle Gipe of The Hockey Writers!
November 24, 2017 – The Numbers Behind Crosby’s Regression
Fuck your numbers, Kyle.
8. Batting eighth, Larry Brooks of the New York Post!
December 23, 2017 – We are now witnessing the sad decline of Sidney Crosby
Bonus video – Dan Boyle telling Larry Brooks to get the fuck out of the Rangers locker room in 2016.
9. And last but not least, batting dead last, Dan Bylsma (albeit transcribed by Greg Wyshynski) of the Detroit Red Wings!
March 7, 2018 – Dan Bylsma: Sidney Crosby is not the world’s best hockey player — but he is the smartest
(Bylsma was technically a part of the media last year since he was unemployed lolz.)
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So there you have it. Sidney Crosby is the best. These people are the worst. Connor McDavid will be the best player in the world one day, but he still hasn’t earned that title yet. End of story.
Go Pens.
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