Hello all this is my first post and some of you will have already heard me relay some of these sotries, but i feel that everyone should get to hear about some of the people i encounter through my job and some of the funny things i have seen people do or say.
The first tale occurs several months ago oh wait this isnt a tale it is very short. So i am Chilling leaning on the hood of my car over seeing the building of 2 homes, when i look up just intime to see a Lexington County inspector bust his rear end while trying to walk off my lot. Granted it had just rained and my neighborhood is nothing but nasty clay. Anyways this dude’s feet start to slide out from under him and he does the whole arm wave thing you know what i am talking about, but it just doesnt work as usual and he falls on his fanny fanny. Well he gets up and looks around and thinks he escapes and about the time he takes a couple more steps he sees me just looking at him and smiling and he knows that i know that he fell down.
The next story takes place up in Ticks part of the country up in Boiling Springs. Well i am working in this neighborhood helping out up there because hell i am a swell guy. Anyways I am walking the hood and decide to check in on the cleaners. These girls are some what attractive, but about as country as hell, but i will give it to them for having all their teeth. Well I come in and they dont know that i am there yet and i over hear them talking about children this that and the other. You know the usual man i have 2 kids and that is all i want and not me i want more. Of course since it is in Ticks neck of the woods they start having kids up there early like 14 because hell there aint nothing else to do up there especially when walmart closes and you cant hang out in the Ingles parking lot. Well the new girl who is this little 18 year old girl is going on and on about how she wants kids. THey ask her does she think she is ready and does she have a husband. In true redneck fashion her answer is hell yeah i am ready i have raised to puppies and no i dont have a husband but i have a boyfriend and hoping i get pregnant so he has to marry me.
And last but not least lets not leave out my witnessing a case of indecent exposure. SO i am pulling into my new neighborhood on Thursday and i ride around back to get something out the construction trailer. I see my landscaper’s truck and him standing on the side of the road at my concrete wash out with his back to his truck. By the way he is a CLEMSON GRAD WHO ALSO PLAYED FOOTBALL FOR THEM. So i dont think much of it until i get closer and sure enough the hick from clemson is taking a leak in the concrete wash out pit. So i get out and i am like dude what are you doing and he responds “nature was calling”. I asked him why he didnt use to porta john on the way in and he said he didnt feel like walking across the parking lot to use it. i said man i know you are a clemson grad end every one pees outside just dont be doing it right on the edge of the street in case a homeowner drives up. What is up with old people having to pee every 5 minutes anyways
Later from the construction site
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