April 14th – The Day the World Stands Still

April 14th - The Day the World Stands StillExcuse the homerism — or ignore it and continue along your daily business — but as of right now, April 14th is the most important day on the calendar. What will we know on that day? At that point, we’ll know who all the playoff teams are and who they will be playing. That’s cute. I’m sure these “playoffs” will really be “exciting” in the way that Lifetime is “a big hit” with “drunk college kids at a bar on Friday night”.

The events that occur on April 14th will change the hockey world forever. Forget this “Stanley Cup Champion” crap. The folks here on Long Island realized long ago that was just a meaningless pat on the back. As you may have surmised, I’m talking about the draft lottery that is held on April 14th. There’s really no event that’s more important in the NHL today*.

On April 14th, we will know the probable destination for Mr. John Tavares. We will also know if the Islanders or the Lightning are going to have the opportunity to trade the first pick, select Evander Kane first overall or otherwise botch the whole shebang, if they so happen to obtain it. Of course there are other teams that could get it, but they are far less likely to shit the bed with the pick given their stable and/or mildly competent leadership.

Oh, and then there’s that whole thing about seeing Mike Bossy suffer on national television. Can we please not send him to the lottery this year? If this is what he looked like when the Islanders didn’t have a chance at the first pick and dropped down, it would be cruel to leave him there with the opportunity of seeing them whiff in a year such as this one.

It’s a big day, folks. I’m going to start pre-gaming for it now. Who’s with me?

* – OK, I admit, the Finals are probably more important. But we all know Detroit’s going to win and dominate like the Deathstar conquers a small, insignificant planet that’s not really important to the plot.

Arrow to top