For this Guys on Ice Chat, I’d like to thank
Cornelius Hardenbergh for sending me the news story that inspired it, and Dave for suggesting the eventual storyline. And I know there are other people in this story, but I left them out only because they have totally unpunnable names.
***Welcome to the Muskoka wilderness chat room!***
Kris_P_King: Ahhh…It feels so good to be back in the wilderness, away from civilisation and it’s craziness. Right guys?
Montador_Ole: This sucks already.
PetersPetersPumkinEater: But we get to do manly things, cuz we’re men! Like…I dunno, chop down trees and shoot small animals! YEAH! Like MEN!
PoniRides4ABuck:But we have no guns, AndrewPeters. Just surviving book.
May_Pole_Syrup: Well, we should be fine after that course we had. Maybe.
PoniRides4ABuck: I agree, BradMay.
Montador_Ole: Why do you keep doing that?
PoniRides4ABuck: Do what, SteveMontador?
PetersPetersPumkinEater: Why do you keep referring to people by thier full names?
PoniRides4ABuck: Is habit from Ukraine. You don’t know how many Alexeis there are. You say “Hey, Alexei” anywhere and like 12 guys turn around.
Montador_Ole: Oh well, let’s set up camp and get this over with.
***Several hours later…***
Kris_P_King:That’s a good fire goin’ there, Alexei.
PoniRides4ABuck: Thanks!
PetersPetersPumkinEater: Hey guys! I found some wild mushrooms we can eat!
PoniRides4ABuck:Are you beings sure those are safe?
PetersPetersPumkinEater: Yes, they’re safe. I checked ’em in the big book of edible crap and they’re cool.
***PetersPetersPumkinEater, Montador_Ole, and May_Pole_Syrup all have mushrooms!***
Montador_Ole:I dunno….these taste ok. Kinda…woody, but ok.
PetersPetersPumkinEater: I feel funny.
May_Pole_Syrup: You have four eyes.
Kris_P_King:I knew this was a bad idea.
Montador_Ole: Guys, I’m not high yet, what the hell? Why aren’t I high yet? Guys?
Montador_Ole: Oh waiiiiiit…
Montador_Ole: /foams at mouth
Montador_Ole: /goes catonic
PetersPetersPumkinEater:Oh God…ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod!
PoniRides4ABuck:What is wrongs AndrewPeters?
May_Pole_Syrup: Are you freaking out, man?
Kris_P_King: Andrew, just breathe and listen to me, ok? You are a living organism on this planet–
PetersPetersPumkinEater: MY BRAIN IS MELTING!
Kris_P_King: No, it’s not. You are a living being and your are totally fine. You are just really, really high right now. Now, if I had it, I’d play some Pink Floyd and let you come down.
PoniRides4ABuck: Nah, he’s already freaking out. Pink Floyd will make him worse. Try something happy, like Bob Marley.
May_Pole_Syrup:..Except reggae sucks balls.
Kris_P_King: I can make something up like Bob Marley…Let me see…
Kris_P_King: Uh, yeah mon, No woman, no cry, cuz every little thing’s gonna be alright! Yeah mon….something about Jamacia…
PetersPetersPumkinEater: Ahh…it’s better…AH! COBRAS!
PoniRides4ABuck: Where?!
May_Pole_Syrup: Forget this, I’m gonna go take a leak.
Kris_P_King: OK, just watch out for logs and stuff. Don’t want you to twist an ankle or anything.
PetersPetersPumkinEater: CANDY BARS!
May_Pole_Syrup: What the…is that a…oh hi little baby bear! Oh you’re so cuddly, I love you! Who’s this coming, is it another little friend? Oh, it looks like, is it your mommy? Oh don’t mind me, I’m just saying hello to your adorable ba–AHHHHH! AHHH! GAHHH! I’M BEING MAULED BY A BEAR!
PoniRides4ABuck:Should we help him?
Kris_P_King: No, I think he’s just having a bad trip
May_Pole_Syrup: IT’S EATING MY FACE!
PetersPetersPumkinEater: You guys ever just look at fire? I mean, really look at fire? It’s almost as cool as looking at your hands.
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