It’s been a while since we checked in with our old buddy Mark Messier. Too long, actually. I guess that’s what happens when our biggest source of entertainment is retired — there’s just not too much we can do (If only this blog existed during the 90s, we’d never run out of things to write about Mess).
So, Messier recently did an interview with John McGourty of NHL.com. It’s nothing earth shattering, praising Messier for just about everything under the sun. But we’re not here to roast McGourty for quotes that give Mess a literary BJ — take, for example: “it’s not entirely clear if [Messier] put more into Game 7s of the Stanley Cup Final than he did on a frosty February Tuesday night game in Winnipeg against the Jets.” ed. note: writer’s head nearly exploded after reading that quote — it’s more about what Mess said in the interview.
McGourty’s line of question was, well, repetitive to say the least. But thanks to his investigative reporting, we’ve learned more about Mess in this one interview than we ever knew before.
It all starts off pretty normal for a Messier beej piece:
JM: “So, Mark Messier, which of your six Stanley Cups, five with the Edmonton Oilers and one with the New York Rangers, was the greatest?”
MM: “All of them.”
And then continues…
JM: “Most guys say their first Stanley Cup was the best and, in your case, you conquered, in 1984, the four-time defending champion New York Islanders who swept you in the Stanley Cup final the year before?”
MM: “All of them.”
And this line of questioning continues for six more questions all of the same type all with the same answer from Messier. But hey, to be fair, investigative journalism is tough and this is a BJ piece after all.
But, after eight of those questions, things started to get a little weird.
JM: “What do you like more, your Stanley Cup rings or your first born?”
MM: “All of them.”
JM: “The rings or the kid?”
MM: “All of them.”
JM: “OK… Moving on…”
That’s not the weirdest of the questions, either. They just keep getting weirder.
JM: “Who makes the best vodka: Smirnoff, Grey Goose or Absolut?”
MM: “All of them.”
…And weirder.
JM: “Which hooker do you enjoy more: Candy, Brandy or Shaniqua?”
MM: “All of them.”
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