***From time to time, Dr. Aaron Perlut from the American Mustache Institute shares his wisdom. This is one of those times.***
Despite not being a finalist for the Goulet award, In the Mustached American community, Collin Balester is a hero.
The Washington Nationals relief pitcher has withstood the pressures from agents, the Major League Baseball Player’s Union, the United Midgets Rights Union, and his seemingly mustache-friendly wife Ashley to remove his lower nose ruffage for several years.
All along, he has stood up to the negativity, tyranny, and intellectually inferior clean-shaven aristocracy of Major League Baseball.
“I’ll only pitch as well as my mustache allows me to,” Balester said. “I am my mustache, and my mustache is what I am.”
He’s now challenging other Major Leaguers to join his “Bally’s ‘Staches” Movember team and help contribute to the Prostate Cancer Foundation and LIVESTRONG.
He asks that any citizen within earshot of a major league player who does not suffer from Bare Upper Lip Disorder or BULD, walk up to them and state the following Haiku:
For more information, email AMI at [email protected] or call 877-STACHE-1.
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