The National Basketball Association is about to complete its 69th regular season this week, a season that’s seen two incredible teams just crush all in their path (well, almost all), a metric ton of drama in Philadelphia and Los Angeles (where the two worst teams in the NBA dwell; surprise surprise, losing 85% of your team’s games breeds apathy, player discontent and weird behavior), young teams being better than expected, veteran teams being worse than expected, and firings on teams both very successful and very…not.
Last year, I did the occasional Power Rankings article due to the Portland Trail Blazers being on the second tier of contenders in the West. I said at the start of this season that I wouldn’t do the same this time, partly because of my disdain for the Power Rankings concept (despite the views those things get), partly because I thought the Blazers would be so bad that it wouldn’t make sense to highlight non-local teams they wouldn’t have a chance of competing with.
As we all know by now, I was very wrong about the Blazers this season, as was pretty much everybody else.
Still, I stuck to my decision not to do those articles this season. Given all the personal issues I’ve had to struggle with during this second go-around with Oregon Sports News, it was a great choice; I’m somewhat amazed I was able to stay on schedule with the Weekly Previews.
The end of the regular season, though, is the time for reflection and review. From the dregs and chaff to the prime drops and the wheat, all 30 teams in the Association will get some wordage here, complimentary or derogatory. Some teams will deserve their own category, while others will be loosely grouped together.
For the playoff teams, including the Blazers, this is the start of a new kind of grind, the mini-marathon after the marathon NBA season. For 14 hapless/luckless franchises, this week will see the torture finally end…at least on the court.
Today is Part One, with Part Two coming tomorrow.
The Hottest of Hot Garbage
Philadelphia 76ers: Ugh. The only good thing you can say about this flaming pile of tires is that they barely avoided tying the 82-game season record for fewest wins, set by a previous version of the Sixers way back when.
It took them four months to force GM Sam Hinkie to basically rage quit, submitting a 13-page resignation letter where he quotes everyone from Abraham Lincoln to Warren Buffett. The master of the flawed train of thought known as the “Process” did such a poor job of roster management, he managed to make the most talent less team in the NBA last season even worse this season, finally achieving his goal of getting the league’s worst record, and getting 25% odds of winning the Draft Lottery. They do have rights to the Los Angeles Lakers’ pick if it falls outside the top three, and with the Lakers being second-worst this year, the odds of that happening are not great.
Along the way, Hinkie sold off or traded every veteran on the roster and populated the team with young players that don’t have the first idea how to not only behave as NBA players, but as functioning adults. Nerlens Noel being sued for alleged extensive property damage to a house he rented, and alleged assault, is the latest example of immaturity and a lack of accountability.
Jahlil Okafor getting into fights and Joel Embiid channeling his inner Greg Oden are two other issues, issues that are avoided by teams like Minnesota, who has kept veterans on their squad to show their prized kids how to act like men, not wild apes that clog the toilet with cotton balls and feces, spill gallons of Gatorade all over the place and neglect to clean it up, and after getting kicked out of the house by their landlord, drag a tombstone over and dump it there with the letters “RIP” etched into it.
(The prior list is what Noel is being accused of. I bet his mother is dying of shame right now, poor woman.)
All this comes back to Hinkie, who assembled his team like an introverted academic that belongs in a think tank, not a front-office executive in charge of a very human-oriented business. He was so obsessed with being forward-thinking, he lost sight of the present. And like I said, when faced with the reality that maybe his Fallout-worthy, Vault-like social experiment wasn’t being accepted by his bosses, Hinkie rage quit. That’s the gamer-esque way of saying he gave up like a petulant child that didn’t get his way.
With Bryan Colangelo, son of Jerry Colangelo and late of the Toronto Raptors, now in charge, maybe the 76ers can start functioning as an NBA team, not as a study in just how much “intentional” losing you can do before your contemporaries demand NBA Commissioner Adam Silver step in and wield the biggest hammer in sports.
The Worst Kind of Hollywood
Los Angeles Lakers: Forget the fact that this once-proud franchise owns the second-worst record in the NBA right now. Also forget that the coach has oscillated between undermining his young players and giving them “tough love.” The title I chose for this section refers to the incident that may well destroy any kind of hope for the Lakers in their immediate post-Kobe Bryant existence.
Point guard D’Angelo Russell, all of 20 years old, and rarely-used bench player Nick Young, 10 years his elder and a man who is likely the stupidest athlete on the face of the Earth, were best buddies. The “were” is used because Russell, who sometimes did this with Young, secretly taped Young saying he cheated on singer Iggy Azalea, his fiancé, with other women. Those remarks were leaked, and suddenly the kid positioned as the face of the post-Bryant era has been called out for his lack of intelligence, lack of maturity, and lack of trust among his teammates regarding Russell.
I don’t mean to absolve Young in this, either. He is that incredibly dumb, as air-headed as your average blonde Hollywood starlet (though not nearly as likely to do porn just to survive in Los Angeles), and any man that cheats on his significant other is automatically a scumbag, to say nothing about somehow preferring another woman when you have Azalea. But since everyone knows Young is very stupid and a very bad influence, I guess his evading the scrutiny of the national talk shows makes sense, even if it is a little immoral.
The other guys in the locker room now severely distrust Russell, whose character (and not that of the guy who, you know, cheated on his fiancé) is now in question. Free agents that were already wavering on signing with the Lakers because the team is so awful will be even more turned off because there’s a guy who might be secretly recording everything they say.
Any hope for a quick fix for next season, which was slim already, is gone. Jimmy Buss and Mitch Kupchak might want to get a head start on clearing out their desks.
Twin Fountains of Sadness
Brooklyn Nets: I’ve mentioned this team several times as the saddest, most mismanaged franchise in the NBA, worthy heirs to the Los Angeles Clippers before the drafting of Blake Griffin. They are the third-worst team in the NBA, they don’t own their first-round pick this year, and there’s a chance that the Boston Celtics, who own that pick and are a divisional rival of the Nets, could land the first overall spot and draft Ben Simmons, who would look very nice playing a small ball 4 for Brad Stevens.
Simmons, Brandon Ingram, and the other top prospects aren’t guaranteed future top-10 NBA players, but that’s not the point. The point is that former GM Billy King created a horrific mess with a veteran roster that’s bad, and they don’t have a steady pipeline of good young players to funnel into their fallow roster. Former Blazer Sean Marks, a former front-office lackey in San Antonio who took the Nets GM job a while ago, has one hell of a job in front of him.
Phoenix Suns: This team fell apart before it could get started. A 48-win team just two years ago, a series of questionable personnel decisions and unfortunate injuries to star point guard Eric Bledsoe have derailed a promising and exciting young team. Now, other than shooting guard Devin Booker, there’s no real reason to feel excited about the Suns’ future.
The roster has been constantly turned over the last several years, which is a great strategy for football, but not so much for basketball. There is always change going on at the lower edges of the roster, but when the rotation has been messed with to the degree the Suns have done so, coupled with the fragile egos of the players involved, it’s a recipe for disaster.
Where Phoenix goes from here is anyone’s guess. This season’s Suns have been a chore to watch, and deserve to be mentioned with Brooklyn.
Young and Bad…But There’s Hope!
Minnesota Timberwolves: I mentioned Andrew Wiggins and Karl-Anthony Towns last Tuesday, and since then all they’ve done is defeat maybe the best team ever on the road, then drive a dagger into the heart of the Blazers on Saturday, in the land of Lillard Time. It was KAT Time Saturday night.
These guys are going to be crap-your-pants scary if the Wolves brass doesn’t screw it up.
Milwaukee Bucks: The Bucks have pieces. They may be ill-fitting right now, and tossing another youngster into the mix might not be the best thing for them currently, but there is plenty of talent. And with the right coaching and the proper amount of work, that talent will win out in the end.
Milwaukee might not have the ceiling that the Timberwolves possess, but the framework for a solid playoff team in the East is there. If Giannis Antetokounmpo and/or Jabari Parker expand their skills and make a leap, perhaps the Bucks could be more.
Tim Duncan, or Kevin Garnett?
New Orleans Pelicans: The above question refers to power forward Anthony Davis, a legitimate top-five player and superstar stuck on a horrible, injury-ridden team. Davis himself is as great as he ever was, and being three years younger than his fellow 2012 Draft classmate Damian Lillard, time is still solidly on his side, despite his propensity to get injured.
His team has taken a step back after key players suffered injuries and the front office made questionable signings, such as retaining the services of Omer Asik at an expensive price. After making the playoffs in the brutally difficult West last year, New Orleans has been relegated to also-ran status even after the conference weakened considerably.
This kind of dynamic plagued Garnett’s first run with the Timberwolves. Though Garnett had success in Minnesota, winning an MVP and leading the Wolves to the Conference Finals one year, that success could never be sustained. The teammates he had to play with were either average or plain terrible; if Garnett’s best Minny teams had been teleported 10 years back or forward in time, they’d struggle to win 30 games, let alone make the playoffs. Garnett did eventually win an NBA championship, but it had to come after he was traded to Boston–a move he only recently forgave the Timberwolves franchise for executing.
Duncan, meanwhile, had the benefit of highly intelligent front office personnel, Hall of Fame-worthy talents and skilled role players forever flanking him, and the wisdom and freakish adaptability of coach/president Gregg Popovich, who richly deserves to be etched alongside Phil Jackson, Red Auerbach, and Pat Riley on the NBA Coaches Mount Rushmore.
While Duncan is easily one of the ten best players to ever live ( I have him at number six, above Wilt Chamberlain, but you could make a compelling argument for Duncan being above Magic Johnson and Larry Bird if you wanted), the reasons why he’s won five titles and stands a decent chance of matching Michael Jordan with six are the people around him.
Anthony Davis will be an NBA champion one day. Whether he does it like Duncan did, staying with the team that drafted and nurtured him, or whether he has to leave town to find immortality like Garnett, depends very much on what the Pelicans do as Davis is about to start the first year of the five-year, $120 million mega-deal he signed last summer.
Is There a Plan in Place?
Denver Nuggets: The Nuggets’ rebuild, if we can call it that, has progressed at a glacial pace. They weren’t any kind of factor at any point in 2015-16, and they won’t be a factor next season either, even if the West’s weakness isn’t a one-season thing.
In Denver, it’s all about accumulating young talent at this point. Figuring out who’s fit to hang around and who’s going out the door will be the next step. Trading away Kenneth Faried must be a priority; Denver has too many young bigs that are worthy of playing time for Faried to sop up minutes and sulk because Ty Lawson’s no longer around to guzzle beer and share hookah with.
New York Knicks: A team of two minds, headed by the best coach of all time…in the front office. Phil Jackson in 2016 is an elderly man clinging to what made him successful, namely the Triangle offense. He’s already chewed through one of his former players in Derek Fisher in the head coach role, and whomever he hires will have to coach as Fisher did, in the shadow of Phil.
The Knicks’ roster has an aging star in Carmelo Anthony, one of the most talented scorers in the history of the league, and a potential star in seven-foot-three Latvian rookie Kristaps Porzingis, whose ceiling is basically a Dirk Nowitzki that can jump and play defense. The players in between are a mishmash of young guys that might be good in a coherent system, but when placed in whatever the Knicks are trying to do, just get lost in the shuffle and are left to do the best they can without proper guidance on the court.
Anthony isn’t interested in doing anything about it as long as he gets his shots, and Porzingis doesn’t have the experience or clout to be a leader yet. With the Knicks not having their first-round draft pick this year, their ability to bring in additional difference-makers is very limited; no one wants to take New York’s money and deal with all the New York B.S., not when 20 other teams can offer similar money and about a tenth of the pressure and media scrutiny. Their badness will likely continue as Anthony slides out of his prime.
Orlando Magic: The plan the Magic had for the 2015-16 season was defensible, somewhat. They were looking to make a jump to the playoffs for the first time since trading away Dwight Howard, and the East seemed like ripe pickings.
Instead, the Magic stagnated behind their curious mix of veterans and youngsters, while the East got much better; in fact, the East outperformed the West this season, with all eight playoff teams guaranteed to be above .500, something the West can’t yet boast. To cap it all off, after seeing the team just spin its wheels, Orlando traded away both their best veteran, Channing Frye, and the guy they had just signed to a big contract extension a few months prior, Tobias Harris.
Basically, GM Rob Hennigan admitted defeat with those trades. Now after taking a couple steps back by once again having a group of young and unproven/flawed players, and about to draft yet another of that kind of player to join them, I wouldn’t be surprised if Orlando’s ownership decided to fire Hennigan after the season and find someone else with the next best plan.
What in the Blue #$%& Are These Guys Doing?
Sacramento Kings: If Bill Simmons ever decides to write The Second Book of Basketball, and also decides to put in a chapter about the most inept men to ever run an NBA franchise, I hope he gives consideration to current Kings owner Vivek Ranadive.
“I’m Not Mad, Just Very Disappointed in You, Young Man.”
Houston Rockets: Keep in mind that virtually everyone returned from the 2014-15 squad that won 50+ games, came back from a 1-3 hole and multiple double-digit deficits to stun the Clippers, and went to the Western Conference Finals. They had everyone of consequence back, and added Ty Lawson as well. So, how does a Conference Finalist fall completely out of the playoff race without a major injury to one of its stars?
The answer, friend, is chemistry.
I never took chemistry in high school, being earmarked immediately for Advanced Biology and Environmental Sciences upon arriving. It’s obvious Rockets GM Daryl Morey (the mentor of former Sixers GM Sam Hinkie, incidentally) never took chemistry either, at least in the NBA.
Basketball is not like baseball, where you can just bring up a player’s numbers and correctly assume his value; baseball is an individual sport masquerading as a team sport. Basketball, by contrast, may seem like an individual sport, but in reality it takes five people moving and thinking in unison to be played at a high level.
The Rockets were fractured from this season’s opening tip. Dwight Howard is infamously difficult to get along with, James Harden’s defensive lapses and loafing probably haven’t won him any friends in the locker room, Lawson has been struggling with rehab and a reduced role, Terrance Jones and Donatas Montejunas have both disappeared on the court, and everyone else is too specialized in their skill sets to make up for the erosion of Howard’s athleticism or for the occasional bad game from Harden.
Firing Kevin McHale for failing to control this mess just 11 games into the season predictably didn’t help at all. Houston may have talent, but they don’t have any consistent idea on how to play with each other. It’s just Harden isolating, Howard using up possessions with inefficient post-ups, the perimeter guys spotting up, and praying that they get either a three, a layup, or some free throws. Things Harden is adept at providing, but when he’s tired or having an off night, the Rockets die a fiery death. And their talent level is no longer capable of carrying them through games.
With Howard set to leave in free agency, the Rockets are set for seismic changes. Both interim coach J.B. Bickerstaff and Morey himself will be under review, though I expect that Bickerstaff will take the fall this time. Still, this will be two coaches going under the axe in the span of seven months.
If the Rockets don’t get their act together next season, it could very well be Daryl Morey on the headsman’s chopping block.
Washington Wizards: A somewhat similar story to the Rockets, the Wizards were a successful playoff team last season that simply took a nosedive through the standings. Some of it could be blamed on the injuries to Bradley Beal, some could be blamed on coach Randy Wittman’s directive to change up his coaching style, and it not connecting with the players.
The real culprit, I believe, is the East just being so much better this season. Washington didn’t do anything to improve, while the Celtics’ youngsters got better, the Heat got Chris Bosh back for most of their year, the Hornets remade their roster, and the Pistons gave Reggie Jackson the keys to their team. Everyone else either got better or maintained their staying power, while the Wizards stood pat.
Consequently, once they got into a rut (for the reasons I mentioned, or for others), they ultimately couldn’t win enough games to make up for it. Their ceiling is as a second-round playoff team right now, and with Kevin Durant not likely to come riding in on a white horse to save his hometown team, the Wizards have pretty much reached their peak.
Chicago Bulls: Oy. Tom Thibodeau may be gone, but his spirit still lingers on in Chicago–players are still getting hurt right and left. All-Star guard Jimmy Butler has been run into the ground, and that is the main reason why the Bulls are going to miss the playoffs this season for the first time in a long while.
It feels like an era is ending in Chicago, and the Bulls are just starting to realize it. Joakim Noah is cooked, Taj Gibson is eternally hobbled, Derrick Rose is never going to be the player he was, and Pau Gasol is thinking about greener pastures, if not outright retirement. If the East’s improvement carries over to the following seasons, I don’t see a way for the Bulls to return to the postseason unless sweeping changes are made to the roster.
This summer is going to be the biggest in Chicago since they won the right to draft Rose. It should be most interesting to see what Gar Forman and Co. do about this failure of a season.
That concludes Part One. The other 16 teams in the NBA, including your Portland Trail Blazers, will be covered/lauded/lampooned tomorrow.
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