Last year during the World Cup, I previewed each of the United States’ matches by giving 5 reasons to hate the opposition. Given that there are bloggers out there who are much more qualified to discuss the tactical breakdown of the games, I stated away from that angle. Rather, I gave 5 reasons to hate them in general. Not just the team, but the whole country. One of the benefits of international competition is that you can bring the entire history of the nation-state into the discussion. The way the tournament sits right now for the United States Women’s National Team, they will be playing two more games. A win in the semis against Germany puts them in the championship against England or Japan. A loss sends them to the 3rd place game against the loser of England-Japan. Either way, it will basically be a World War Redux Tour for the USWNT, giving plenty of fodder for the “5 Reasons to Hate” post.
If you want an actual legitimate preview of the game, check out:
- Neil Blackmon of The Yanks are Coming on Abby Wambach
- Sounder At Heart
- The Sporting News
- Grant Wahl on SI.com about Lineup Choices
If you want some good reasons to hate Germany (if you don’t already) here we go…
5. Nazis
From the outset I talked about being able to call upon socio-political history as a reason to hate a country. But in fact, that’s not what I’m talking about here. Yes, what the National Socialist Party did during their stay of power in Germany was atrocious. That is without doubt.
What also sucks is the linguistic jargon that is now associated with the word “Nazi” or “Hitler.” Someone doesn’t agree with you’re point of view? They’re probably Hitler.
Obviously, this doesn’t compare with the atrocities of what the actual Nazis did. But it’s still a gigantic headache to have to listen to anyone and everyone being called a Nazi about something or other.
4. The Internet
3. Vowels, or Lack Thereof
Have you ever tried to actually read German words? It’s nearly impossible. This is a civilization that never heard of vowels. There are words that have 7 or 8 consonants in a row. What even. Then there is their totally absurd way of naming everything.
2. Martin Luther
Selective interpretation? Check. Selective Translation? Check. Ongoing misinformation campaign against the Catholic Church? Check check check.
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. “The Church used to teach that the earth revolved around the sun.” or “The Church used to think that the Earth was flat.”
Well, as it turns out Martin Luther himself once said:
“There is talk of a new astrologer who wants to prove that the earth moves and goes around instead of the sky, the sun, the moon, just as if somebody were moving in a carriage or ship might hold that he was sitting still and at rest while the earth and the trees walked and moved. But that is how things are nowadays: when a man wishes to be clever he must needs invent something special, and the way he does it must needs be the best! The fool wants to turn the whole art of astronomy upside-down. However, as Holy Scripture tells us, so did Joshua bid the sun to stand still and not the earth.” (Source)
And a simple Wikipedia search pretty much blows the Flat Earth myth out of the water.
Basically, rooting for Germany is rooting for inaccurate, revisionist history. If that’s your cup of tea, well, why are you drinking tea in the first place? I’ll go with the team that actually did things in history as opposed to just making them up.
1. Nazis
The actual ones. The ones whose faces melted in Raiders of the Lost Ark. Also the ones who were responsible for the Holocaust.
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