Don't worry, I have no plans to drop dead tomorrow. I just thought the term was fitting. (If you don't know, it's the term Roger Ebert used on his website to announce his departure due to a recurrence of his cancer. He died the day after making the post)
I'm going to be stepping away for a while. And I've decided I'm going to be completely honest as to why.
I have clinical depression. I take some pills for it (along with other things — I get panic attacks sometimes so severe that I've been hospitalised as a result), but it never really goes away. There are times when I can manage, and still be a pretty normal, productive person.
And there are times when it's bad. And there are times when it's pretty goddamned bad. This is one of those times.
It's all kind of accumulating right now. It's hard just to roll out of bed in the morning, and that causes its own problems, and those problems cause other problems to the point where….well, I guess my radical honesty has a boundary. Use your imagination.
It makes it hard to enjoy the things I love. Like writing. Like volleyball. Like writing about volleyball. Everything becomes an arduous task, and I just do not have it in me right now. Please understand, this isn't just some vacation for me. Just writing this is difficult, and all it is what's been on my mind the last week or two.
I'm sorry to be doing this, but it's this or disappear without any explanation, and I figure I owe whatever readers are out there the courtesy.
This isn't goodbye forever. I'll come out of this at some point (I always do). It may be tomorrow (kinda doubt it though), a week from now, a month from now. I hope it won't be longer than that, but it could well be. I just need to get myself straight. Hopefully I'll eventually look back on this and….not laugh, certainly, but feel that it's something I would never have to post again.
Thank you for whatever support you've given The Net Set over these last 16 or so months. I'll be back — I completely guarantee it — but I just don't know when. Until then.
— Aly
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