A New Kind Of Rivalry

Are you a real sports franchise if you don’t have a rival?

Can you be considered a top team if you don’t have a mutual hatred for an equal?

Is it even truly being a fan, when you don’t really have a rival to call your own?

All valid questions.  Coming from Chicago, every single one of my teams had a rival.  Bears/Packers, Cubs/Cardinals, Blackhawks/Red Wings, with the Bulls, during the Jordan years, it was everybody, and now, the Celtics, Heat, and Pacers.  Some of those more intense than others, but all more heightened passion that anything the Blazers currently have going on.

The closest thing was the Sonics Who Are Not The Sonics Anymore.

And to be clear, I’m not talking about the quality of fan, just of the quality of rivalry.

And to be clear, of course I think Chicago fans are bett…

So what now?  What happens next?  If the answers to the above questions do indeed point to “Yeah, a team needs a rival,” then how do we go about making this happen for Rip City’s roundball organization?

Usually, these things start organically…

• A “Malice at the Palace.”
• A potential sweep turned into a seven game series.
• A dagger of a last-second shot.

I, nor you, nor really anybody besides the organizations, have control over this.  We can’t will the Blazers to back-to-back seven games series with the Lakers or get Gerald Wallace to hip check Russell Westbrook into Mike Breen’s lap.

The ferocity needs to just happen.

But.

There are other elements that do accommodate a rivalry, mainly having to do with the two cities and their ideals/politics/geography/population/etc.

Take, the Lakers and Celtics, for example.

Aside from their 16 and 17 titles, respectively, their cities could not be any different.

A typical Celtics/Lakers angry fan back and forth:

Lakers fan: “F&$% you, underachievers with no style!”

Celtics fan: “We’re working men, damnit!  F$%& you glamour pansy!”

Lakers fan: “Magic’s the greatest!”

Celtics fan: “Bird eats Magic alive!”

Lakers fan: “And Russel’s over-hyped!  His team is the only reason he won!”

Celtics fan: “Ummm.  How about Wilt stop being a stat whore?”

But why does it have to be like that?  Why do rivalries have to be angry?

Why can’t we redefine what a rivalry is?

Why does a Malice in the Palace have to happen in order to create a rivalry?

Can’t we think of rivalries in different ways?

Rivalry literally means, “competition for the same objective” or “for superiority in the same field.”

So Portland needs to compete with someone for the same thing, as well as be in the same field.

So I suggest Minneapolis and their Timberwolves.

A bit of back and forth from the two metropoli:

Minny dethroned PDX as the #1 biking city in the US in “Bicycling Magazine.”

PDX, according to Travel and Leisure, is the #1 beer city, Minny being #12.

PDX modeled itself, public transport wise, after Minny.

Both fight over whose liberal nature is true-enough or just fake.

Both states are filled with nature-y awesomeness.

And team-wise…

Neither the Wolves nor the Blazers have real title shots, especially with this new NBA world.  Sure, the CBA was supposed to fix things like SuperDupers joining forces, but let’s see how that works out when Dwight and Deron pick their next peach basket haven.

Too many things would still have to fall either of these teams’ way in order to really make a run.  Even the newly heralded combo of Rubio/Love probably can’t bring Minny a title.

And I do get the romance of both fan-bases fighting for their chance at the playoffs and the title, but these two markets are playing at an extreme disadvantage, or in other words, playing in the same field.

Both have a star leader who can’t be the best player on a championship team.  Both are going to have a hell of a hard time luring the Dwights/Derons/LeBrons/etc. So, they’d have to either pull a ’03-’04 Pistons or get lucky in the draft OKC style to really create a powerhouse.

They’re two of the teams that’ll maybe almost come close, but really, they just can’t truly compete with the Celtics, Lakers, Bulls, Knicks, Mavericks, etc…

And they also get a chance to showcase their mutual dislike (I know, early) for each other at least four times a year.

And on a grander scale, why does their rivalry have to necessarily be as intense as OSU/Michigan?

I understand, Blazers fans might be a bit pissed about this.  Yes, you have great fans here, but nothing compares to the Chicagos, New Yorks, Bostons, LAs…  From me, this is definitely biased, but these cities live and die by sports.  You can read whether or not the Bears won or lost on the faces of Chicagoans every Monday morning of football season.  There’s an extra step in everybody’s hop that day, post victory.  There are no people there that ignore sports.  Every single Chicagoan eats, drinks, sleeps, one of the major squads.

In Portland, if the Blazers suck, you can just go outside and enjoy the amazing city and chill out, grab a microbrew.  It’s just the nature of the area.  And I run into so many people here who just flat out don’ care about sports.

And I don’t know much about Minny, but seeing as it didn’t even have their current team until ’89, and they haven’t made a title since, really, this city probably doesn’t live and die by them either.

So why can’t a rivalry be… friendly?

Yes, “you play to win the game,” but when the odds to win the ‘ship are against you, why not have a friendly rivalry?

Blazers fan: “No way!  Our bike paths are better!”

Wolves fan: “Better?!  Not only are they worse, but we have more!”

Blazers fan: “And our beer kicks your beer’s ass!”

Wolves fan: “Well you’re gonna need it to wash away your sorrows next time we play.”

Blazers fan: “Hey, speaking of, you wanna grab a beer and talk about how badly the Black Keys sold out?”

Wolves fan: “Yep.”

Life’s better when it’s more relaxed, so why not have a relaxed rivalry?  We can even call it a Frivalry.

“Minny’s in town tonight,” said the mustachioed Blazers fan.  “Love it when our biggest Frivals come to town.”

Is this a stretch?

Maybe…

No really, this is a stretch.

Yeah.

But it’s a new way to think about an old idea.  Yeah, sure, intense sports rivalries are fun, but with two cities who see that there’s more to life than sports, with teams that are at a disadvantage every year to grab the main goal of playing, why can’t we live in a world with Frivalries?

Do you know of any good Frivalries?