Aaron Rodgers Really Wanted to be the Winner of the Losers

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What? The Pro Bowl was on Sunday? I seriously pretty much forgot. Uh, your Vikings highlights … Well, two white guys from the team played in the game … Jared Allen had one tackle and … Chad Greenway? He’s a Pro Bowler? … He had six tackles, four of them solo. So there’s that, in case you were really interested in finding out what the best of the losers had to offer during a ritualistic game that no one anywhere, ever, has cared about.

Wait, I take that back. Apparently, Aaron Rodgers wanted to be the best of the worst:

“I’ll be honest with you,” Rodgers said. “I was a little bit disappointed. I felt like some of the guys on the NFC side embarrassed themselves.”

“I was just surprised that some of the guys either didn’t want to play or when they were in there didn’t put any effort into it.”

…. WHATTA DOUCHE!

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Are we serious with this? This is really going to be a thing? Is Aaron Rodgers, the likely league MVP, so butt hurt over the fact that his girl scout team got made to look like the flag squad against the Giants that he’s trying to take the moral high ground in the PRO BOWL?! The same Pro Bowl that allowed Cam Newton and a fucking ginger haired leper to get invited?! I’m more outraged at this outrage than the outrage that is the Pro Bowl!

And let’s not forget, you Green Bay freak, that you just got an all-expense paid trip to go to Hawaii for a week, the greatest place on Earth, probably got to stare at Miss Hawaii’s jugs for a while, and STILL received an additional $25,000 just for showing up and LOSING. You know what happens if our Armed Forces lose? THEY FUCKING DIE. They don’t make a quarter grand.

Of course, the counter argument from the dick-count-double-check-squad is “Rodgers wanted to show the fans a great game, make them proud of their Pro Bowlers!” Really? You’re going to rely on the Pro Bowl to do that? Maybe you should have just made them proud in the playoff game instead. The Pro Bowl? I PROMISE you more American morons watched The Bachelor that night (I don’t even know if it’s on Sundays, Scout’s Honor, but it doesn’t matter, you get the point) than watched the Pro Bowl. Even guys that were supposed to cover the game didn’t watch the Pro Bowl (so said Kevin Seifert).

So get over yourself and remember that you’ve won just as many playoff games in Green Bay as Christian Ponder has, you weeping labia.

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