Alright. Fine. Florida is legit.
After a respectable 8-4 week five brought my season record to 38-23, here are the week six picks.
LSU 34, South Carolina 10 – Go to 2:10 of this video and tell me we shouldn’t elect Les Miles President. That man is a gift.
Oklahoma 51, Texas 24 – If firing Steve Patterson doesn’t revive your season and moribund program, there is no hope.
Clemson 34, Georgia Tech 14 – Is Dabo Swinney even real?
Georgia 31, Tennessee 24 – Remember how all those Georgia fans were terrified last week that the Bulldogs would get exposed by Alabama and yet another promising season would fall apart? How silly of them.
Michigan 17, Northwestern 14 – Yeah, sure, put this game on the B1G Network where no one can see it. It’s not like these teams will have one combined loss and be in the top 20 in week six, right?
Nebraska 41, Wisconsin 38 – The Huskers lost to BYU on a Hail Mary, lost at Miami in overtime, and lost to Illinois last week when they could have run out the clock. Mike Riley will turn it around.
Arizona 38, Oregon State 36 – This Wildcats season is the time when Rich Rod said, “Let’s run it again but this time without the defense.”
Oregon 45, Washington State 31 – Mike Leach knows it’s more likely for someone to shoot themselves or a loved one than a home invader, so he has come up with another solution to keep himself safe, saying this week, “I have a Viking axe by the bed if I need to whack someone.”
Alabama 34, Arkansas 17 – Betting Saben as an underdog was the easiest layup in the history of this column. Even I couldn’t screw that one up.
West Virginia 34, Oklahoma State 27 – The Cowboys’ big wins this year have come over Kansas State, who is playing a potted plant at quarterback, and Texas. Sorry, but I’m not buying Oklahoma State.
TCU 54, Kansas State 21 – I saw an article this week titled, “Kansas State Offensive Lineman Told To Prepare To Play Quarterback,” and there’s at least a 41% chance that it wasn’t a joke.
Florida 31, Missouri 3 – You win, Florida.
Florida State 38, Miami 10 – Miami is so incredibly bad that you could replace Al Golden with a coffee table and no one would miss a beat.
Utah 35, California 21 – Sonny Dykes can win six national championships. It doesn’t matter. He’ll still be a bad fit at Cal, who should hire Kliff Kingsbury immediately.
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