Of all the things to do when you’re suspended from the NFL.
A couple of weeks ago, Adrian Peterson decided to race comedian Kevin Hart to a 40 yard dash in the streets of Austin, Texas at 1:00 AM in the morning. There is video of this happening (below), and apparently it was actually a real thing that happened. I have so many questions.
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1. Why in the hell was this race so close?
2. I mean, really, AD. I know you’ve been away from the NFL for like a year, but you almost lost this.
3. But, you’ve also been away for a year. Why are you doing anything that would jeopardize your running ability?
4. I mean, what if Hart tried kicking your heel as you passed him, and you tore an achilles?
5. Would that be worth screwing Teddy Bridgewater out of his first playoff appearance next year?
6. Would it be worth it to miss another year so you could get out of your NFL contract with a team in a state where people are super judgy and hate you for blind reasons?
7. Why didn’t you run faster, like you were trying to run away from that contract?
8. What could Kevin Hart had possibly have said to you that would have convinced you that racing him was an OK idea at 1:00 AM in the morning?
9. Why is Hart screaming “Oh shit!” to start the race?
10. Did you cheat at the race?
11. Did you start running before he did, even if it was just slightly?
12. Why didn’t you do more than jog the entire way?
13. Were you not wearing proper shoes?
14. Do you only run faster when you have terrible up-front blocking?
15. Did you guys eat at Franklin’s BBQ later?
Whatever the case may have been here, I am still looking forward to Adrian Peterson joining the Vikings again next year, despite everything that has happened that I don’t care about, because I think the team is a whole lot cooler when he is on it than when he is not. TRUTH.
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