Alex Rodriguez Apologizes for (Almost) Everything

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Alex Rodriguez has been a hit in his return to the lineup for the New York Yankees. So much so, plenty of fans in the Bronx are, seemingly, willing to look the other way when it comes to the former MVP’s past transgressions.

Wednesday night, the A-Rod Redemption Train was back on track, taking center stage at the ESPYs…apologizing for everything.

Well, almost everything.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHZ0Y6GgClw]

“To my fans, fans of baseball and to fans of fair play everywhere,” actor Ken Jeong said on behalf of Rodriguez, “I’m sorry.”

And what all exactly was the 39-year-old slugger apologizing for?

Here’s a sample:

  • That Jon Snow died on the season finale of “Game of Thrones”
  • Spoiling the “Game of Thrones” finale
  • The water shortage in California
  • Shaq’s IcyHot commercial
  • Inventing gluten
  • His inability to grow body air

Hold on. You thought Rodriguez was actually going to apologize for using steroids?

Keep dreaming.

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