All Out of Love

I’m going to go ahead and just dive right in without a pithy opening.

ITEM ONE: I was, again, at the Twins game this Saturday, which the Twins dropped 8-2, thanks in large part to poor defense and even worse hitting. To hear the crowd tell it, however, it was all Sidney Ponson’s fault. Well, it really wasn’t. It wasn’t his fault that balls bounced off of Jason Bartlett’s glove or the teaqm couldn’t hit Chad Freaking Durbin, was it? And in any case, why is everyone so anti Ponson at this point? He’s our fifth starter, and hasn’t offered up any blowouts. Didn’t Glen Perkins come in and do just as poorly? So why wasn’t he derided like Ponson? Oh right, I remember now. The organization has encouraged us to be biased against bringing on outside talent, and there hasn’t been a good word written about him anywhere. The man is in his early 30s and has good stuff. If we were going to bump someone from the rotation, couldn’t we put him in the bullpen? Don’t we need a long reliever if we are putting Perkins (please no) in the bullpen? Weren’t we in the same place last year with Tony Batista? He wasn’t great, granted, but then, nobody on the team was. So now, why isn’t anyone complaining about Nick Punto, who is putting up worse bumbers than Batista? Probably for the same reason nobody will complain about Perkins when he gets shelled after he gets put in the rotation. This was a dumb move, just cutting Ponson.
Let’s use this example. The Twins, right now, are like a party, and that party sucks. You invited the wrong people, bought food that nobody likes, its raining so nobody can enjoy the patio, the speakers are shabby, and the CD in the player is Air Supply. Now, some people would enjoy Air Supply, so thats not really the problem, but you decide to change the CD to Foreigner. Is the party better? Well, instead of a lame party with Air Supply, its a lame party with Foreigner. This is essentially what the Twins did, by swapping out their 5th starter, who would have been passable in many other environments, and are replacing it with something different, and something that maybe isn’t quite right for a party. Instead of changing the CD, maybe the Twins should have spent some time addressing the teams real problems. I’m a little worked up over all this.

ITEM TWO: Stuart Scott was at it again in this issue of ESPN the magazine, arguing that Pac-Man Jones hasn’t been convicted of anything yet. Well, he has about 5 trials pending, but you got us there Stu. And O.J. didn’t do it and Bonds never juiced and I’m not writing this in my underpants.

ITEM THREE: I played the first round of golf of the year this morning, and after an auspicious start, I started taking care of business. The Ridges at Sand Creek in Jordan gets my full recommendation, however, the bugs there have a special affinity for certain people, particularly me. I am a bleeding, itchy mess, while nobody else seems to have had any problems. So, go there if you don’t have delicious, succulent blood.

ITEM FOUR: NBA Playoffs? Still don’t care. Stop asking