I don’t know why, but “official” people keep sending Purple Jesus Diaries emails about features on Vikings players, heads up, blog posts, and more. I don’t know how they reach this site, besides possibly doing a search in Google that says “Horrible Vikings blogs.” Why they’re searching for that is anyone’s guess. Anyway, I don’t usually post any of the stuff they send because they don’t offer enough references to genitalia for my own preferences, but it was a long ass weekend leaving PJD lazy, the NFL sucks horse tail right now, and I kind of feel bad about not referencing anything people ever send ever. So here’s a bunch of official stuff to get caught up on:
Pondexter Has Everything to Prove: Our very own Pondexter is featured in a weekly web video thingy with NFL Films and Gatorade (no Playtex sponsorship?) where people follow around the rookies during the offseason like a bunch of mustache-wearing creepers and check in on their daily lives. You get to watch them poop and everything (so I hear[I’m pretty sure that’s a lie.].). Pondexter has already had two features up. The first one can be found HERE and the second part can be found HERE. Both episodes feature Pondexter fishing with that douche bag Blaine Gabbert. Hate that guy.
In other Vikings players fishing news, Shanko went fishing by walking into the water with his pants off and caught a blue whale. True story.
Would the Readers Be Interested in AccuScore Shit? For those who have been around for a while, you know PJD does a weekly game day preview where we highlight a bunch of random shit and sometimes throw references to actual football and the upcoming game in there. People from some website called AccuScore said they could provide us with REAL football talk instead of which team has the less sucky city. Details include:
RSS Feeds
This is our game preview for each team’s upcoming game. I can give you the RSS feed for all the teams, and you can just plug it in and you will get each team’s game preview.
Playoff Report
Each week we write a playoff report detailing how the last week’s game effected each team’s projected record and chances to make the playoffs. This is sent out on Tuesday’s.
Top 5 Lists
We have lists generated on various top five categories. Would love to be able to service these to you. Lets say we did a list on top 5 WR’s for fantasy and someone from your team was on the list, we could send it to you and you could use that article.
Team Previews
We have our preliminary data ready for the season, but it is preliminary. I would love to send this to you as the first step started now.
A pre-season preview of the type of writing you could expect would be this:
Minnesota Vikings Season Preview
Brett Favre is gone (for real this time, at least we think) so who plays quarterback for the Vikings? Tavaris Jackson is likely to be let go, which only leaves Joe Webb on the roster. Webb showed some flashes in 2010, but his QB rating was just 61. It will likely just be a question of how long it takes for the 12th overall draft pick Christian Ponder to take over the position.
AccuScore forecasts Minnesota to finish last in the North with an average of 6.5 wins. The win total actually might be a bit optimistic considering the quarterback situation and competitive division, but the rest of the team is solid. There is an 11 percent chance at a run at spot in the postseason that probably hinges entirely on QB play.
The Vikings will probably rely more than ever on running back Adrian Peterson. Percy Harvin emerged as a real weapon a year ago, but he had serious problems staying healthy so the burden will fall to Peterson. The defense was actually very solid ranking in the top 10 against both the run and pass as well as total defense. It will have to be again to help out whichever young quarterback has the reins.
Projected Record: 7-9
Projected Division Finish: 4th
Probability of Winning Division: 5%
Probability of Making Playoffs: 11%
Personally, this does nothing for me. 7-9? That’s way too generous of a record than what I’d give these losers. But whatever. Is this something people would be interested in or do people not care? I clearly don’t care, because it’s only taken me about three weeks to acknowledge that this email even existed. Let me hear what you think.
Rudy Has Everything to Prove As Well: Kyle Rudolph was in an NFL Films/Gatorade/Fredrick’s of Hollywood sponsored rookie film too. I didn’t watch it, but by all means, if you’d like to … Here you go.
What’s a Fan Tab? I guess it measures Vikings fan sentiment in “real time.” Whoa! Web2.0! Anyway, it looks like that above and is clearly a lie, since it says Vikings fan sentiment about their team right now is ranked number one in the league. This also just in; approximately four people have voted on that website for the Vikings! We could raid it and drop it quicker than bridesmaid panties at the after party, if you’re interested. Web page is HERE, but I don’t expect you to visit.
Make that Second Contract Money, Dawg: A reader sent me an article about Pondexter talking making that rookie contract money. Go read it if you want real news. You won’t get anything here.
That’s it for today. More shirtless men soon.
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