With the season fast approaching BMR will be rolling out our obligatory season previews division-by-division over the coming week. Today, we’ll be taking a look at the Atlantic division.
To continue with the east coast bias, I’m going to preview the division that I know the most about. We’re going letter by letter through the Atlantic Division to give you everything you need to know about it this year. Well, some of the things you need to know. Actually, to be honest, it’s really just free association. It should be entertaining, though.
A is for arrogant, which is what my friend who is a diehard Rangers fan is after they signed Marian Gaborik. We’ll see how he feels in two months when Marian either A) gets hurt B) stops trying C) gets hurt or D) turns into the latest free agent bust for the Rangers by getting hurt.
B is for bragging rights. You can’t really argue with the Stanley Cup.
C is for Combos. Cause they taste really good and they’re always advertised on here.
D is for dirty elbows, which Philly signed to a seven-year extension.
E is for enforcer. Garth Snow doesn’t understand that word.
F is for the flimsy and flaky injury prone Islanders.
G is for goodbye, which is what the Devils said to Holik, Havelid, Clemmensen, Gionta, Rupp, Sutter and Madden.
H is for headache, who will be in net at the Wachovia Center.
I is for Niittymaki. Cause only now that he’s out of the division did I actually learn how many Is are in his name.
J is for John Tavares. You knew he had to make an appearance somewhere.
K is for Kansas City because they’ll be in this division next year.
L is for Lundqvist. Also known as Defense, Rangers.
M is for mad genius. Yeah, the Devils still have Lou.
N is for nuisance. #16 is back too.
O is for over the cap. What the Flyers almost are.
P is for the City of Champions.
Q is for… Fuck it there’s nothing that starts with Q.
R is for waste of space. If you don’t get it, ask a Ranger fan.
S is for Sillinger retiring.
T is for totally awesome protesting ideas.
U is for USSR. The newly re-named place where the Rangers’ leading scorer is headed to.
V is for Versus, which thinks it’s special so it doesn’t come with my cable package. Good thing somebody invented the internet.
W is for “Why, oh why won’t the Rangers get rid of that waste of space Wade Redden?”
X marks the spot where the Flyers can find a solid goaltender. They’re still searching.
Y is for You’re welcome for Bill Guerin, Pittsburgh (and stop trying to give us Satan. No backsies!)
Z is for Zeus!
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