I am drinker. On average, I’ll probably drink maybe 6-8 beverages a week and they normally ALL take place on a Saturday or Friday Night. During the work week, I try to be a bit of a homebody but if I happen to be out on a date or with co-workers, I’ll probably have a drink. Maybe that’s a shitload for a 35-year-old, but I used to be a lot worse. I would be what you would classify as a binge drinker in college. I’d be that asshole who would look at the clock and countdown to when the bars would close in order to figure out how drunk I could get.
If I was sober and I had only 3 hours until the bar closed, I was lining up shots of Crown and double-fisting Long Island ice teas. I’ve gotten black out drunk and I’ve been the asshole who woke up after a drinking binder with total regret and a call from a friend saying “You were a fucking idiot last night, but at least you were funny.” Well…as long as I was funny its all good, right?
I am telling you all of this because everyone loves to judge. Its the American way these days and whether the judging is in a positive or negative sense, I often think your own personal experiences dictate how you decide to judge people. In regards to Bills fans weekly appearance on Deadspin, I’m not that guy whose never touched a drink in his life or forgot how to party. When you get old white curmudgeons taking a dump on someone like Cam Newton’s celebrations, its often because they just aren’t cool and have never watched MTV unless Bruce Springsteen was on it.
In regards to boozing at tailgates…I get it. I get that kids just want to have fun. I get we all make terrible decisions especially when it comes to drinking. Mistakes often time happen because you don’t see it coming. Its organic. When I would go out to drink, a lot of times I didn’t envision me getting sloshed prior to it. It just happened and that’s the problem here. Nothing here is organic and fans are doing this more for attention than for their own fun. Its just completely contrived at this point.
Now, I’ve been going to games since 1990 and the tailgate scene has become more crazier than ever. Sorry, but I don’t remember being 21 in 2001 and seeing fans power bombed through tables in the parking lot or hitting their heads on buses. Sure, you could say that “maybe” this was all happening and there wasn’t a camera phone around to document it. However, I never heard or saw anything like this.
To me, this is coming off as “Look at me” attention in order to get on Deadspin. Specifically with the wrestling shit. Deadspin will whore out any sort of tawdry content in order to get traffic hits. They are the kings of exaggeration. For crap sakes, they had Pinto Kenny on their site this year and the guy has been featured on NFL Films since the 90s. Now, I’m not going to lie…I click on their shit and laugh at it. So, its on me just as much as it is on them. However, the problem for me is I think that its going to get worse with fans continuing to push the envelope on trying to get on Deadspin or have their video retweeted 1,000 times.
This week, its putting someone through a table…. next week…lets jump off a van and onto a table with a deep fryer on it. Then the week after…let’s go through a flaming table. Before you know it, its ECW from the late 90s where wrestlers are doing incredibly dangerous spots in order to appease the audience. Once you do one crazy table move, its time to push the envelope even more because its already been done before. The audience in this case are the readers at Deadspin and the ECW wrestlers are the drunks at the game. The difference? Bills fans aren’t professional wrestlers.
Sooner or later, someone will get hurt, especially when you are wasted off your ass and you are being asked to powerbomb someone. I’ve watched enough wrestling shows to see the “Don’t try this at home” promo to know that you are going to get fucked up. And then what happens? You gonna sue the Bills/Cops/Parking lot owners for negligence? We are going to have WGRZ do a live report on binge drinking? I assure you, if something bad happens because of this, the NFL/Bills will drop a hammer on Bills tailgating in order to avoid the PR nightmare that would follow.
This isn’t worth it, kids. The worst case here trumps your best case of getting on Deadspin. Its all good to get fucked up and get your fuck on in the parking lot (Note: Open the doors to block your bare asses from the public or find a van). However, when it comes to the wrestling moves that will eventually get you hurt, you are heading down a path where you will ruin it for yourself by getting injured and ruin it for everyone else who just wants to consume 6 drinks prior to a game.
Add The Sports Daily to your Google News Feed!
