Black alternate uniforms are the scourge of society. People think things in black are “scary” or “cool” or “it’s what the kids are Snapchatting about”, which basically means old white guys are just looking for ways to steal money from you because there is no way that any of this bullshit is aesthetically pleasing. And it’s not.
But this is actually not as repulsive as other black alternate unis.
I don’t know what it is with this one, that some random bro worked up. The Vikings should never wear black uniforms, because black is not one of their colors. It’s pretty much that simple. The Vikings are purple, gold, white, and sometimes grey. The only black that should ever be used for the Vikings is in the standard font colors of their media program, when on white paper. That’s it. No “fourth alternate, special edition midnight black jerseys” that are worn because we don’t have a history to look back on. Because we do! We have a great history as a football team! We shouldn’t resort to black-jersey gimmicks!
But if we did, it would need to include a black matte helmet. Fuck me sideways, but black matte is pretty cool looking. I don’t know if it reminds me of new tires on a Range Rover, scuba suits, or what, but it’s way cooler than glossy black. Glossy black looks like nail polish. You want your football players to be wearing nail polish? Of course not. We’re not Packer fans.
There seems to be some kind of “Helmet Rules” for alternate uniforms, which I know nothing about though. To the point where you maybe can’t use matte colors on your helmets. I could also be totally making this up, but wouldn’t put it beyond the NFL because their uniform rules are stupid. But think, if they sold a black matte helmet, they may actually get one cynical buttface to buy one. Or a small version of one. If it’s signed. But probably not. But I would consider it! And that’s a step in the right direction.
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