The internet has been abuzz recently with the hottest viral video of recent, two teenage girls in a spirited battle of fisticuffs before a launched shovel took it to stratospheric heights.
But I’m not interested in all the theatrics that happened after the scrap. I’m a fight fan and writer first and foremost, so as the editor of this fine site, I wanted to really break this down and get to the meat of this video. Sandwiched between chicken coops and errant lawn tools, there’s a fight in here. A fight with heart, emotion, and hair ties.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d3ZtsTqKQoE
Round 1: Excellent early work by Pink Shirt to use her reach and length to her advantage, expertly throwing a knee to the body, showing her clear Muay Thai training. However, she’s clearly either overvalued her power or undervalued Black Shirt’s chin. Not unlike Chris Leben, Black Shirt is taking Pink Shirt’s best and walking forward, rendering her obvious reach disadvantage moot. What Black Shirt fails to do once she gets inside is utilize any clinch game or dirty boxing. Black Shirt clearly has to buy back her VCR from the pawn shop and get ahold of some Randy Couture or Brandon Rios or Julio Cesar Chavez tapes. Bafflingly, Black Shirt throws looping slaps to the side of the head, not unlike an angry black grandmother, once she has the inside of her gangly foe. Very poor gameplanning from her corner. Her slaps register, but have nowhere near the power that her 28″ reach can produce, and Pink Shirt’s head movement, though spastic, works for her here.
Then, in a brutal show of gamesmanship, Black Shirt aims to work the takedown with a handful of scabied-hair. You hate to see such dirty tactics in the skankal combat arts, but Pink Shirt isn’t going to allow such heel tactics defeat her. She pulls an excellent sweep, avoids the illegal upkicks (Pink Shirt still had a knee down), and starts raining down the ground and pound on her dastardly opponent. Black Shirt has more tricks in her bag…actually, it’s the same trick, and pulls her down by the hair again to stop her attack, but Pink Shirt is ready this time and immediately starts working off of her back, looking to lock up rubber guard. I love that kind of quick-thinking, self-awareness in a future teenage mother. The bell sounds and the ref(s) jump in to separate the two.
Score: Clear 10-9 round for Pink Shirt. While she let Black Shirt get inside on her, her fantastic ground game more than made up for it. Needs to utilize her length and reach more effectively, lest she turn into Trailer Stefan Struve.
Round 2: Apparently the second round will now be contested by modified Shootboxing rules, as the timekeeper has announced that any attempts to get the fight to the ground will be immediately stopped by the refs and restarted to a standing position. The comission is obviously a big Toby Imada fan. Rare to see such a drastic change in the ruleset mid-fight, but we can’t get your Dots stretch pants all grass-stained, that’s three dollars right down the outhouse.
The round begins AND PINK SHIRT IS A HOUSE OF FIRE! Her uncle’s black box hidden under a Girls of Pennzoil 1987 calendar clearly was able to steal UFC 172, because if I didn’t know any better, I’d say that was Jon Jones making her parent(s) proud! Look at the fantastic use of handfighting! I have chills! Just a masterful job of neutralizing Black Shirt’s power-slapping hand to land several punches to the unflinching face of Black Shirt. And it appears Pink Shirt’s corner has reminded her about her superior range, because she creates immediate distance and stuns Black Shirt with a fantastic push kick, and at the end of her flurry, she disengages with an even crisper push kick before Black Shirt can counter! I love seeing great cornerwork in action.
I hate, however, seeing a great fight marred by trash-talk, but that’s what we have here, as Pink Shirt is obviously feeling chipper by her crisp Muay Thai game. C’mon ladies, we’re trying to have a barefoot slapfight on someone’s rented lawn, let’s have some dignity. Pink Shirt’s baiting obviously worked, however, as Black Shirt goes for her tried and true wide, looping head slap, that was easily ducked away by Pink Shirt. I’m not entirely sure she isn’t a Diaz spawn, because that gamesmanship worked perfectly. Not unlike Floyd Mayweather himself, Pink Shirt baits her opponent to throw a wild, looping hook, ducks underneath and nails a GORGEOUS counter straight right to the apparently indestructable face of Black Shirt. Just textbook, if either of those two knew what one was. Another stymying push kick to counter an attack and Pink Shirt has this fight wrapped up if she wants it. Black Shirt assures her for the second time that it is, indeed, her house. The repetition gives me pause as it’s clear there may be evidence of brain trauma in this fight. You’d hate to see that happen to these two eloquent young women, but those are the risks of the fight game.
Back to the fight when LO! A CHINK IN THE ARMOR! Oh, no, Pink Shirt shaking out her hand, and you know what that means. DAMMIT! Such prodigenous gifts that come along with such fragile hands, she’s like a ratchet Giorgio Petrosyan. Such a shame, she should really give Grant gloves a try.
Scoring: Regardless, a crisp 10-9 round for Pink Shirt, as she’s clearly learned to put her reach to work for her, and if she can gut it out with that broken hand, the fight is hers to lose.
Round 3: The ref does a passing walkthrough before being PUSHED out of the way by Black Shirt! HOO BOY! Such disgusting tactics by a fighter who knows she’s in trouble and is desperate for a Hail Mary knockout here. Pink Shirt goes to her bread-and-butter of neutralizing the hands and throwing a PICTURESQUE snap kick! Man, someone check this young woman’s (handwritten) birth certificate to see if she has any Semmy Schilt in her! This young lady obviously has been studying a lot of Buakaw film. Black Shirt has had enough of this eight-limbed nonsense and stumbles into a big meltdown. This obviously throws off Pink Shirt’s rhythm, and Black Shirt, knowing she’s outmatched physically, attempts to win the mental game. Pink Shirt is briefly thrown, but snaps right back to left after Black Shirt gets in one of her trademarked looping Klumps-esque headslaps. A real student of Deacon Jones, this one. It’s easily her best strike of the fight, and rocks Pink Shirt, but she comes back even stronger, tying up the arms of Black Shirt and pounding away at the facial-area, which must have sustained between two and forty-seven fractures.
Another red flag is raised to the brain trauma that Black Shirt is showing, as she has apparently forgotten the definition of a “fight”. All three and a half years of schooling that this girl has is being wiped away. It’s almost too much to watch. After some circling, Black Shirt has her first moment of technical brilliance, deftly parrying away a jab attempt from Pink Shirt, but it’s too little, too late, as the fight comes to an end.
Scoring: Another 10-9 round for Pink Shirt gives her a dominant 30-27 win. With her range, Muay Thai game, and feisty ground game, this gal could become a real problem for any fighter in the trampweight division.
Luke’s Scorecard: 30-27 Pink Shirt
As for the aftermath of the fight, you hate to see it, but sometimes these things happen in MMA.
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