Bring Out The Brooms

All of a sudden, interleague play doesn?t seem all that bad.
A sweep at Turner Field is quenching for many reasons, the top four simply that A) don?t tell me Edgar Renteria isn?t somewhat jealous, B) the sweep in the Metrodome seems like last year, C) the disgrace known as the Tomahawk Chop was mostly put to rest this weekend and D) a win is always nice knowing that a Royals reject is pitching the next night. Basically, I?m pleased. It makes sitting in front of a television watching baseball for four hours completely worth it. Sure, Rudy Seanez needs to be gunned down in a public shooting in Kenmore Square, but the offense bailed him out. So he lives another day.
Luckily, Mr. Papelbon entered the game in the eighth and made himself welcome by shutting down the maddening Braves rally. When Timlin doesn?t have to fully exert his stones with the game on the line, he gets a little too cute. Whatever, he?s still dependable. After Delcarmen was pulled for lefty-killer The Other Javy Lopez who appropriately walked his one and only batter, Seanez subbed for Lopez and gave the Braves the lead. But don?t fear, the Braves bullpen is here! A two-out rally begins with a patient Nixon walk, a Varitek walk, a clutch Crisp knock, then that Beckett deal throw-in coming up big in the clutch. My head hit the ceiling after his double.
Is this team really hitting their stride? The Sox welcome to Fenway two teams that are dangerous, but beatable at the same time in Washington and Philly. Kyle Snyder starts Monday, and yes, you?re asking the exact same question as me: who the hell is Kyle Snyder? Then we have Wakefield and Lester, followed by Beckett and Schilling- and it would be really, really nice to win all four of those games. It?s definitely possible. The offense will need to help big time.
As I was watching the Sunday Night broadcast on ESPN with idiotic announcers Jon Miller (okay, he?s not THAT bad) and Joe Morgan (he qualifies as THAT bad), I decided to mark down some actual quotes from Morgan, who has the easiest job in the world. Basically, Morgan doesn?t read any books, does any research, never looks up any important statistic and values traits like ?on-field leadership? over ?OPS.? I?m not a big sabermetric stat guy either, but you?d think Morgan would at least try to teach himself a little bit about the philosophy.
Anyway, here are some comments from the game:
?Curt Schilling has pitched very well in his last three starts, walking only three batters in his last EIGHT starts. I expect Schilling to pitch very very well tonight because he doesn?t walk anyone.?
First of all, Morgan mentioned how well Schilling has pitched in his last three starts, then gives a statistic over his last eight starts. Whatever, I?ll let that slide.
April 25th @ Cleveland: 6.2 IP, 9 H, 5 ER, 2 BB, ND
April 30th @ Tampa Bay: 6 IP, 6 H, 3 ER, 1 BB, losing pitcher
May 10th @ New York: 5 IP, 8 H, 6 ER, 2 BB, losing pitcher

Schilling had 5 walks in those 3 starts, along with 23 hits given up. The lesson here: You can have a line of 0.0 IP, 13 H, 11 ER, 0 BB and lose the game. So it?s walks will not completely determine the outcome tonight, Joe.
?Smoltz knows he?s not out there to pitch well, but to win games. Smoltz will try to come out tonight and win the game, not just put on a Smoltz show tonight.?
Hmmm. If you?re John Smoltz and will probably be traded in a month, would you rather pitch a 9-inning 1-hitter and lose the game, or give up 11 runs in 1 inning in a 17-16 Braves victory. Tough call.
?With Coco Crisp at the top of the order, I feel this lineup will be even better.?
Youkilis: .318/.434/.511
Crisp: .262/.307/.374

?Curt Schilling?s ERA was 5.23 after his first four starts.?
Actually, his ERA was 1.61. Close, though!
?Left handed hitters are better low-ball hitters.?
Is that a fact? Is this just Joe Morgan spewing his venom into the ears of uneducated baseball fans? Can this be backed up? Sam, help me please!
?Francoeur usually puts the ball in play, but as you said, he also strikes out a lot as well.?
Yeah.
?In baseball, one player can?t take over the game. In some other sports, that might be possible, but in baseball it?s all about the team.?
Except, let?s say, when a pitcher has a no-hitter. That would qualify ?as taking over the game.? Or maybe when a player drives in all three runs in a 3-0 win, that could qualify. And actually Joe, baseball is probably the most individual matchup-based sport. Pitcher vs. batter. Get a clue.
?You can?t pick other guys up, you just have to do your job.?
Can?t pick other guys up? Doesn?t that contradict your team philosophy? If, hmm, Alex Cora makes an error in a 2-2 ballgame to give the Yankees the lead in the top of the ninth, then Ortiz hits a walkoff to win 4-3, Cora would be ?picked up?, right?
?You don?t see those kinds of sliders in the American League as much.?
Randy Johnson?s name ring a bell? And how can this even be true? Do pitchers who throw sliders form a coalition and migrate to the National League every off season? And what do you mean by ?those kinds? of sliders? Slider A and B? Diagonal Slider as opposed to Sinking Slider? I?m brimming with questions, you moron.
(after Smoltz walks the bases loaded in the 6th) ?Well, it?s also been a while since Smoltz has had to face three hitters like David Ortiz, Manny Ramirez and Trot Nixon.?
Ortiz, Ramirez, Nixon combined SLG: 1.562
Beltran, Delgado, Wright combined SLG: 1.741

Smoltz has faced the Mets twice this season, more recently May 7th. So it?s fair to say that, yes, Smoltz has faced better hitters than the Ortiz, Ramirez, Nixon trio. The Mets are in the Braves division, Joe. And those are statistics. They were invented a while ago.
?He hasn?t thrown a curveball since the first inning, so Giles was looking fastball or splitter there.?
Only five innings off, but whatever.
?Maybe Seanez tried to wake up the Red Sox by giving up that homerun. (Miller) He woke them up from their slumber.?
Thanks Joe, because I was wondering why he would give up the long bomb. Thanks for explaining.

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