Burn the NFL combine to the ground

I might be over 60 years old, smoke, drink, eat unhealthy, and you might call me out of touch, but I say #$^& the Combine.

Oh look, a player nobody ever heard of just did the broad jump SPECTACULARLY, let’s draft him number 1 even though he had 3 sacks in 5 years at Northeast Corn hole State! I get that you kids like your Twitter and whatever the @#%, but don’t tell me the combine is some sort of interesting TV. I wouldn’t watch dudes in speedos run the 40 yard dash if it was in my #%^&ing yard.

The worst thing about the Combine is suddenly EVERYONE is a expert in the cone drill. Yes Bob, you 320 pound sack of play station addicted garbage, please explain to me how a great cone drill predicts future greatness.

I. DON’T. CARE.

Do any of you people even remember Stephone Anthony’s Combine? Maybe instead of lifting weights they could do a drill where linebackers don’t do stupid @#$% and run themselves out of the play? That’d be great.

Or maybe even just have simple life tests.

Lay out a massive buffet of food and see which players gorge themselves. I guarantee Johnathan Sullivan wold have flunked that test and over dosed on nachos and pasta Alfredo.

“Sullivan got red flagged at the Combine at the buffet drill for punching a guy for the last two slices of bacon.”

That’s information WE CAN USE.

Another great test would be flood the hotel where all the players are with prostitutes that have VD. Then have the hookers tell the players that their cooch is as dirty as a sewer and mark down which players bump uglies with the hookers anyway.  If a player is too dumb to not bang a hooker with a STD, how’s he gonna function on Sunday?

Poorly, that’s how.

Sure, you might say my ideas are disgusting, horrible, and creepy but you just spent 4 hours watching dudes run the shuttle drill in underwear. Who’s the creep here?

So you are probably asking “Doc, if the Combine is useless who do you think the Saints should pick?”

You know who they should pick?

SEC and LSU players? You know why? Cause those are the players I watch every #$%^ing Saturday.

My college football knowledge is limited to mostly games LSU plays. At least I’m honest, you #%^& watch the combine and 12 Youtube clips and suddenly you are Mel #$^&ing Kiper Jr.

Get The #%^ out of here and take the stupid Combine with you. The NFL Network should show old 1980’s football games instead of dudes in shorts.