Canada Doesn’t Understand Fire, Grass or Baseball

I guess when hockey and ice aren’t involved, our fine friends to the north just lose their problem solving senses. I know they’re better than that, too. But apparently a grounds crew at a local baseball field in St. Albert’s, Alberta decided that settling fire to their baseball field was a good way to dry it out.

I’ll let that sink in for a moment.

So, you know, even an idiot would say, ‘hey let’s get a giant fan to dry it out.’ Or something like ‘Enforcer’s sister blows really hard, maybe she can help us.’ But these guys, these guys are a special breed. As the story goes, they spread diesel fuel on the field and lit that shit up, bro. A few hours later, their baseball field was gone and now the field is shut down for the rest of the season because it is an environmental hazard (in America, we would just pave a strip mall over it and hope for the best).

“The quick-dry approach was nothing new to baseball coach Kurtis Millar. “I’ve definitely played in every province in Canada and seen the trick used,” he told CBC News. And crews here say this is common practice across Alberta”
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Seriously? There are MORE people like this in Canada?

And I know you’re waiting for it, so here’s the money quote:

“Nevertheless, the field could be shut down for several weeks, which means the rest of the season has likely gone up in flames for the young players”
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Ouch! Too soon? Too soon. Whomever wrote that must like picturing crying children in their mind. Actually, I’m sure the kids are just excited that it’s almost hockey season and they don’t have to play stupid baseball anymore. This is Canada we’re talking about.