Now, as you may know I’m no Chris Pronger fan. So of course, I thought this headline and picture from the Chicago Tribune were pretty funny (and he has such nice legs!). But this is not the hard-hitting analysis and fine journalistic integrity that we should expect from a fine newspaper with a storied 150+ year history that is the flagship paper of the Tribune Co. and covers one of America’s biggest cities, right? No, no. That is not at all what we should expect and would be too much to ask, especially from full-time journalists who come up with stuff like this to… I don’t know… feed their familes and such… and decided this was better to publish than try and come up with some new, super-awesome idea to save a dying industry (just sayin’).
So, to make things easier for everyone involved, I decree that the Chicago Tribune has now relenquished its right to ever make fun of bloggers. Any blogger could have easily photoshopped hot legs onto Chris Pronger’s torso in their basment (why didn’t we think of this first, dammit!?). Any blogger could have come up with the nickname “Chrissy”. So, welcome to the basement, Tribune Co! Hope you enjoy your stay. And remember from now on there’s no making fun of the place you’re living in. You’re an adult (albeit a 150 year old one) and can make your own decisions. You decided to move in here.
But let’s remind the nice staff of the Tribune what they can no longer do. Rick Morrissey, you can no longer make fun of bloggers and Jay Mariotti in the same sentence (man, that’s gonna suck, huh?): “I’ll give Mariotti this: Whether he realizes it or not, he might have been the nation’s first blogger, without actually writing one. He has led the way by not leading the way to the locker room or the clubhouse. He writes what he wants without ever talking to a soul. The only difference is he travels often to events, unlike bloggers, many of whom sit in their underwear all day and update, update, update.”
Maegan Carberry will still be allowed to misspell her own name (now that’s a blogger, ammi right?!) but will no longer be able to have the opinion that “decades-old institutions” are somehow easier to trust than “the proverbial kid in PJs in his parent’s basement”. And why is it a he, anyway. It could be a she, like you Maegan. “Are we talking about the Josh Marshalls or Erick Ericksons? Are we talking about the Chris Cillizzas? Are we talking about the proverbial kid in PJs in his parent’s basement?” she asks. “I appreciate the need to establish a trusted brand, which is harder for individuals than decades-old institutions.”
NBA guy Sam Smith will no longer be able to wonder: “How is it I can work for decades developing contacts around the NBA and traveling regularly around the NBA and talking with the decision makers and some guy in his basement in his underwear is writing something that has credibility?” Why? Because that guy is now you, Sam. Welcome to your new humble abode.
So Sam, Maegan and Rick remember next time you trash on us bloggers what you’re really doing is trashing on yourself because thanks to the hockey guys at the Tribune, you’re one of us now. MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA *twiddles fingers like Mr. Burns*
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