Dark Magic: Steelers Lose

In the run-up before the game, NBC accidentally leaked this picture of Joe Flacco’s tattoo:

He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named won’t be happy about that getting out.

Due to the 8:15 start time, the game takes forever to finally get started. NBC makes sure to get in as many commercials as possible before kickoff. The Ravens fans have white dish rags that they’re waving. Bill Hillgrove calls them a “cheap imitation of the Terrible Towel.”

The Ravens won the toss and deferred. Logan takes the kickoff across the 30.

Get used to seeing the motif offense tonight. Run-run-pass. Good call with a screen play on 3rd down, but the pass gets tipped. Punt.

The Steelers force a 3rd and long, but Flacco zips one on a slant route to move the sticks. Two passes to Mason later, the Ravens are inside the 25. Ray Rice takes it down to the goal line. Three plays later, McGahee takes it in.

Remember last time McGahee faced the Steelers?

The Steelers throw their typical WR screen to Ward to start off, then Mendenhall is able to move the chains. Raise Some gets us into a 3rd and 3, and Dixon scrambles for the first, but it gets called back on a hold. Moore gets a draw play and goes nowhere. Punt.

The defense holds and forces a 3-and-out.

Parker comes in as the Steelers continue their 2-and-1 series rotation between Raise Some and FWP. Parker gets 2 carries to get to 3rd and 1. Arians refuses to put a blocking back in, but Parker converts. Holmes gets 8 on the slip-screen, then Parker moves the chains on 2nd and short.

The Steelers come out with two play-action passes. Dixon hits Hines on the sidelines then Tone across the middle who stiff-arms a corner and takes it TO THE HOUSE to tie the game.

See what happens when you establish the run and set things up? It opens up the play-action and you can actually run pass plays off of running plays that you previously ran. We approve.

Carey Davis makes a tackle on special teams and Baltimore gets called for a hold.

Baltimore runs 3 times and gets a first down, but the Steelers defense buckles down and forces a punt.

Mendenhall makes a good run on first down then gashes through the middle of the Death Eaters defense to get across midfield. Dixon converts 3rd and 7 with a pass to Tone on a curl route. Dixon makes a good play on the next 3rd and long to throw the ball away, but Baltimore gets called for a hold, giving us a first down. Spaeth gets called for a hold setting us back to 2nd and 20. Moore gets called for holding on 3rd down to nullify another 3rd down conversion. Tone catches one well short of the sticks. Superman pins them inside the 15.

NBC shows the Baltimore Ravens History Gallery, which has a TV playing the Baltimore Colts “Greatest Game Ever Played” against the Giants. PSAMP posted about this last week. Total fail. The Baltimore Ravens history is the Cleveland Browns, not the Baltimore-now-Indianapolis Colts.

After some screwing around with penalties, Flacco goes deep. Ryan Clark goes for the big hit rather than the interception and Mason pulls it in for a 54-yard gain.

Flacco throws a fade to Mason in the corner and Ike over-runs it, allowing Mason to come back to the ball and make the catch.

The Steelers get the ball with just under 2 minutes to play. Rather than let Dixon air it out, they run two draw plays to Moore. Carey Davis gets the call on a zone read and picks up the first down, allowing us to run the clock out.

Lame commercial about the “invention” of face paint. Toyota trying to be Bud Light doesn’t work.

Patrick Bailey makes a tackle on the kickoff.

Ray Rice rips through the defense on first down for a big gain. Flacco rips one to Mason, and Willie Gay punches the ball out. Tyrone Carter falls on it for the first turnover of the game.

Voldemort kills a mudblood in anger.

The Steelers come back with the motif offense and go run-run-pass-punt. Sepulveda pins them back inside the 15.

Woodley storms the backfield, busting through The Blind Side, knocking Flacco up into the waiting arms of Kirschke. The Ravens give up and run a draw on 3rd and long. Logan makes a few guys miss on the punt return and gets up to the 50.

Dixon comes out play-action and hits Mendenhall in the flat out of the backfield. Raise Some breaks a tackle and takes it down to the 30. Dixon takes a shot downfield for Wallace but slightly underthrows him in the end zone and Wallace can’t hang on.

So close

Mendenhall gets a few on 2nd down, then the Death Eaters storm Dixon, forcing a bad pass. Reed comes out and blasts it through.

Baltimore brings the kickoff across the 30 and is able to move the chains on a McClain run. Lawrence Timmons tears through the Ravens line and brings down Flacco for an 11-yard sack to set up 3rd and 18. Woodley beats a double-team of The Blind Side and Heap of Shit and brings down Flacco for another sack. Punt.

Hines Ward takes a short out and cuts it upfield, taking it right into the chops of Ed Reed for a bunch of extra yards. Dixon takes another shot downfield and makes a great throw but Holmes can’t come up with the ball in double coverage. Dixon can’t connect on 2nd or 3rd down and it’s Sepulveda time again.

Flacco goes to the short passing game and picks up a few first downs. McClain grinds out another first down then limps off the field. The Steelers force a 3rd and long, but Ray Rice takes a short pass and breaks 3 tackles to move the chains. Rice picks up a few more as the quarter runs out.

Flacco takes a shot downfield on 3rd and 7 and overthrows Mason. Collinsworth, who played wide receiver for the Bengals, wanted a pass interference call on Ike. Not happening. Baltimore takes their first timeout to debate a 51-yard field goal, punting, or going for it. Punt.

Raise Some takes the first play for 11 yards, then gets stuffed on the bread and butter counter trey. Dixon dumps one down to Heath on 3rd down and Heath can’t make a defender miss. The Ravens get a big punt return across the 50.

Lawrence Timmons comes flying in and knocks the ball out of Flacco’s hand. The Diesel falls on the ball, giving the Steelers defense their second turnover of the second half.

We get a shout-out on Twitter that @alphadelt played Renegade before each fumble recovery drive. Even when we’re on the road the magic happens.

Raise Some rips off a 7-yarder on first down, then follows up with 2 more. Dennis The Menace sneaks to move the chains. DTM rips one to Tone on a come-back route for another first down inside the 30. Mendenhall grinds out a few more to set up a 3rd and 5. Wallace comes in motion and the Ravens D comes up to play the reverse, forgetting that Dixon ran the zone read at Oregon. Dixon fakes the handoff to Wallace and takes it around the right side, picking up a great block from Moore and scampers into the end zone for the go-ahead score.

DENNIS THE MENACE

Voldemort cheats on the kickoff, setting them back inside the 10. Flacco hits two passes to move the Ravens out to the 40. Ray Rice tries some dark magic to stop a blitz and gets called for a trip. The Diesel blows up a screen setting up 3rd and 22. Mason pulls one in but Clark pulls him down short of the sticks. Voldemort whips out a secret dark spell and Rice pulls in a 4th down pass across the middle and takes it all the way down to the 10. The defense stands tall on first and second down as the clock rolls to two minutes.

Flacco can’t connect with Todd Heap of Shit in the end zone, and it’s field goal city for Voldemort.

Logan takes the kickoff out to the 25. Dixon throws two incompletions then run a draw to Moore. Baltimore uses their last timeout to stop the clock with 1:28. Baltimore gets a good return but gets called for using dark magic.

Flacco hits Rice out of the backfield for 6 then Heap of Shit for the first down. Clark misses an interception by going for a big hit, then Flacco goes deep for Mason and draws a pass interference call on Ike. Mark Clayton commits an offensive pass interference that even Collinsworth sees, knocking the Ravens out of field goal range. Voldemort gets back into range momentarily, but Potsie rips through the middle of the defense and takes down Flacco for the sack. The Ravens run out their kick team and try a last-second 56-yard field goal that falls just short.

The Steelers win the toss and elect to receive.

Good reporting job by Al Michaels noticing the refs put the ball in the wrong spot before the field goal. Thankfully the field goal was missed.

The Steelers come out pounding the rock. Mendenhall gets us into a 3rd and short and Dixon falls forward with a nice second-effort to move the chains. Mendenhall gets 4 more then Dixon goes downfield for Wallace who pulls it in but can’t stay in bounds. Dixon throws too high for Holmes on 3rd down, forcing a punt. Superman booms one down to the 17.

Flacco goes for the home run on first down and overthrows everyone. Mason can’t hang on to a pass on 2nd down, and Flacco’s pass hits the ref and almost gets intercepted by Deshea, forcing a punt. Logan fair catches and the Steelers take over near midfield.

Mendenhall fights for 4 yards around the outside, then gets stuffed to set up a 3rd and 5. Dixon throws a pass behind Holmes and it gets intercepted by a DE dropping into coverage. Voldemort brings it back to the 28.

The torches are lit, and the Ministry of Magic sirens are blaring.

Rather than kicking the field goal, Baltimore comes out running. Rice gets 3 carries and picks his way down to the 14. Rice gets another call and gets down to the 9. Flacco takes it back to the middle of the field to set up the field goal. Billy Cundiff hits it.

Death Eaters celebrate.

• Dixon played a great game. He did more than we could have imagined coming in. Definitely not his fault we lost this one.
• Mendenhall had another solid game.
• You don’t realize how much we miss Kemoeatu until you see Foster on those pull plays.
• Not throwing Foster under the bus, he played a great game, but he’s two steps slower than Kemoeatu when he’s pulling.
• No sacks for the Ravens defense tonight. Heck of a job by the O-line and Dixon.
• Ray Lewis is the best 3rd-man-to-the-ball tackler in the league.
• We can beat these guys in Pittsburgh.
• Casket match next week against Oakland.
• It’s a 5-game season now.
• At least Houston, Jacksonville, and Miami lost today. Watch out for Tennessee storming up from behind.
• In the end, we took a game to overtime that we were expecting to get killed in, can’t really complain about that.