Ed Werder Stands by His Sources!

In the nearby future …

“This … is … Sportscenter! Bah-da-da, Bah-da-da!”

Josh Elliot: And now to bring you up to date, we go live to Ed Werder at the top of the hour with a story he’s been working on all day. Ed, I hear you have some breaking news. What’s the latest on the Favre saga?

Ed Werder: Josh, this is Ed Werder with another breaking news story. I’m here live in Hattiesburg, Mississippi, after just meeting with the Favre camp. They shared some very interesting news about Brett Favre’s return to the game, his surgery, contract details and more! And only with me! I, Ed Werder, will break this news to you!

Favre’s agent, Bus Cook, told me over a nice cup of coffee that Favre and the Vikings ended talks earlier this week. When my source, whom I will stand by until Armageddon, told me that a deadline was in place for this Friday, June 12^th, 2009, the source was not misleading me. Cook shared that this deadline pushed Favre too hard, too soon, after his surgery, and Favre called the whole thing off.

I also spoke with Deanna Favre, who unequivocally confirmed this story from Bus Cook. She said that on Monday evening while her and Brett were sitting down to a delicious evening meal of braised dog, corn on the cob, and baked grits, that Minnesota Vikings coach Brad Childress himself called and told Favre that he needed to make up his mind by Friday or the entire deal was off! Deanna said that her and her wonderful husband talked about the situation over their meal and they both decided that it was truly time to settle down, quit playing football, and focus on their domestic life in Mississippi. She said the Vikings were trying to lure Favre to Minnesota with over $12 Million for one year of participation, but they decided it wasn’t worth it.

I was also able to speak to Brett Favre briefly, not more than 30 minutes ago before he got on his tractor and started driving into the fields, and he said that his legacy in Green Bay meant more to him than one year of playing with the Vikings. Guys, I’ve met some quarterbacks in my time, but there is no one else besides Brett Favre that truly understands the impact that he has on the lives of all of his fans, and the entire town of Green Bay. In the end, he said, it just wasn’t worth it. He loves those fans as much as he loves the game of football, and he decided enough was enough.

Brett Favre’s distant cousin, Jimmy, confirmed all of these statements right before I got on camera with you here. While acknowledging that Favre was the greatest of all time, he also said that part of what made him so great was his purity and his ability to block out the business distractions of football. In fact, I can see Jimmy now, giving me a thumbs up, telling me this is all true stuff here, guys, and guaranteeing that I, Ed Werder, am the greatest sports anchor in the …

Josh Elliot: Sorry to cut you off there Ed, but we are going to have to go live now to Minnesota for breaking live video from a surprise press conference. Guys?

Brad Childress: We are pleased to announce that Brett Favre will be a Minnesota Vikings in 2009.

Josh Elliot: Wow, this is groundbreaking sports news. Ed? Ed, are you still there? What do you think about this?

Ed Werder: … I stand by my sources …