The article that is being linked all around twitter right now comes from ESPN. The headline is “Cincinnati Pushing to Join ACC.” The rest of the story isn’t “No shit,” because you can’t cuss on ESPN.com. Here is the story.
Cincinnati is making a strong push to gain admittance to the ACC with a campaign about why the school is a more viable option than fellow Big East members Connecticut and Louisville, a source with knowledge of the situation told ESPN.
Why I never. How did ESPN get a source like that? How did ESPN find out that Cincinnati wanted to go to the ACC instead of Louisville and Connecticut?!?!?!? What kind of security breach is this? We need President Ono to track this mother down and have them savagely beaten.
The source said Cincinnati officials are cautiously optimistic that the Bearcats are in step with both Louisville and UConn if the ACC were to choose just one school to replace Maryland, which is headed to the Big Ten.
Keep this in mind. The source, THE MOLE, is saying that Cincinnati isn’t just optimistic, they are cautiously optimistic. But not to join, just to be up there with Louisville and Connecticut. Being the third choice isn’t a basket you want to throw all of those eggs into. No, sir.
Cincinnati’s talking points center on the success of the football team in the last five years, the combined success of football and men’s basketball in the top 25 as recently as last year, the Cincinnati media market, the fertile Ohio football recruiting ground and its strength as a research institution.
We have two options for this mystical source who leaked this highly guarded information, of which no one knew before 4 pm this afternoon.
One of them is someone at Cincinnati who leaked it to ESPN to try and get Cincinnati’s name in the mix with UConn and Louisville. That’s a smart way to do things. If you want your name out there, you have to put it out there. Fucking Navy got their name tangled in rumors just today. Connecticut and Louisville are seen as the next member if it’s a one team move. Cincinnati wants to be that next member. So they say, “HEY CINCINNATI TO THE ACC, LOOK AT US.” It worked because it’s on ESPN.
The second is that someone in the ACC leaked this to laugh at Cincinnati and to put the pressure on Louisville and UConn to force them to step up their games.
The source said Cincinnati has stepped up the push to get into the ACC in light of the Big East adding Tulane as an all-sports member and East Carolina in football on Tuesday.
This is the line that absolutely kills me. Like the Big East was some tropical paradise that Cincinnati was fat and happy rolling around in. Like Tulane was the final chip that fell and made Cincinnati want to leave. Syracuse, Pitt, TCU, West Virginia, Rutgers, those losses were fine. But Tulane joining? OH NO, THIS CONFERENCE SUCKS. Hilarious.
Thanks to ESPN for this report. A lot of new ground was broken today, friends.
UPDATE: 5 minutes after this was written, ESPN updated the article with more fun facts about UC. We know that UC was the one to leak this to ESPN. It’s basically a Cincinnati press release. That answers the question of who the source is. The source is the University of Cincinnati. Desperate times, my friends.
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