Last week, the SMU athletic department announced that the football team’s Week 1 matchup with Baylor will be televised on ESPN. Game time on September 4 will be at 7 PM Eastern/6 PM Central. We already knew what day this would be held; we didn’t know the game time or the broadcast partner for SMU’s 2015 debut.
It’s nice to see that ESPN is jumping on the Mustangs’ bandwagon. They must have been reading AACFootballFever.com for all of the inside information. Right on this here website they learned that 35-point underdog SMU is going to drink Baylor’s milk shake. And that the party is on at Milo Butterfingers’ right after the win. Fiesta Nachos, pitchers of Anheuser-Busch products, sliders, and wings.
After the win, there is going to be an impromptu parade. There is going to be bread-and-puppet style street theatre. There will be semi-professional pole vaulting and ring-around-the-rosy. There will be me doing an interpretative dance to Phil Collins’ “Against All Odds.” After my interpretive dance, I will be signing autographs in a cut-off Craig James jersey at the corner of SMU Boulevard and Greenville Avenue. The autographs will read “Thanks for your love, loyalty, and respect. Sincerely, Vince Farragamo.”
Now for some opinions on Bill Paxton.
Bill Paxton had a supporting role in Weird Science, a Kelly LeBrock-Anthony Michael Hall-Ilan Michael Smith-Robert Downey Jr-John Hughes-vehicle that WPIX played about six times a month during Bush the Elder’s presidency. Paxton cements the film’s status as a high-end teen sex comedy by giving it a memorable villain. The actor’s Texas upbringing inspires his take on “Chet,” a menacing older brother with a love for hell-raisin’ and an array of paramilitary outfits. Chet physically and psychologically terrorizes Gary and Wyatt as they try to show their new computer-generated girlfriend around town. Paxton’s character bears a striking resemblance to the townies in Peter Bogdanovich’s Last Picture Show. He also appears to be the model for Bob Mapplethorpe’s older brother in Wes Anderson’s Bottle Rocket.
Did you know that Bill Paxton played the role of “Nazi Radio Operator” in the Pat Benatar video for “Shadows of the Night”? In that 1982 clip, the Long Island chanteuse single-handedly defeated the Germans, almost. She did get a little help from her male co-pilot in the “Midnight Angel,” who appears to be Rod Roddy. Rod Roddy was a TCU man, but still a great man. I miss him very much.
Nothing made me feel better on a sick day home from school than Rod Roddy’s voice at 11 AM on the Price is Right. After an hour of the Price is Right, I would feel well enough to go over to the local shopping plaza and ride the escalator for a while.
To bring things back to Texas, I would like to announce that my favorite escalator in Dallas is the one at the Galleria Mall near Macy’s. It’s got quite the grade to it. I will soon be coming out with a top 25 list of my favorite escalators in the Metroplex. I will update this list every week during the college football season just like it’s the AP or Coaches’ poll.
Back to Bill Paxton. Bill Paxton was also the best part of Twister, which was the worst Helen Hunt movie of 1996. But not the worst movie she was ever in. That would be Woody Allen’s The Curse of the Jade Scorpion.
The Best Helen Hunt movie of All Time? Murder in New Hampshire: The Pamela Wojas Smart Story. This CBS television movie appeared in the fall of 1991 and was directed by Joyce Chopra, the Queen of the snatched-from-the-headlines, high profile crime television movie. Other Joyce Chopra classics include Deadline for Murder: From the Files of Edna Buchanan, The Disappearance of Nora, and The Danger of Love: The Carol Warmus Story.
I am always impressed by the strong acting, cinematography, and clear moral compass in Joyce Chopra’s work. She does everything right that Woody Allen does wrong.
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