Dim the lights and get out your your Sex Panther cologne because sports is having an especially sexy summer. Let’s run down the sexy sexiness.
1. Brett Favre. Deadspin is reporting that the pioneer of funball shed his Wranglers and sent cell phone pictures sans pants to Jenn Sterger. Sterger is is a former Jets sideline reporter and now the host of the Daily Line on the Versus network. Sterger apparently felt that Favre looked like a fool with his pants on the ground and will not give him any sexual favrers in return. Upon hearing this news, John Madden reportedly said “Favre is like a kid out there. Just havin’ some fun texting, leaving messages and faveraasfsffs (incomprehensible) and then BOOM, dickpic!”
Easily the highlight of that article is this sexy nugget….”In fact, Sterger claims that, in one of the photos Favre allegedly sent her, he’s masturbating – while wearing a pair of Crocs.” Ohhhhh yeaahhhh. Brett fake retired yesterday, and looks to be likely back as the quarterback of the Minnesota Sex Boats this upcoming season.
2. Rick Pitino. The Rick has been the center of a super sexy extortion case. Pitino has recently testified in the case resulting in many things being written that you can’t unsee/unhear. Here’s the highlights.
I’m sure Slickrick will be reminded of this episode often by student sections across the country.
3. Johan Santana. If you like your sexy romps “in the open field along side the golf cart path” then Santana might be right for you. Santana was accused of a serious crime but will not face charges. Unfortunately for Santana, what he told the cops has come out. Here is my personal highlight from that article…”The woman, Santana claimed, wanted to “continue the encounter” at her home, but “I told her I was about to climax and ejaculated on her right leg.” The woman, he said, “cleaned herself” with her panties, and they eventually walked back to some community tennis courts, where Santana began playing with his father Jesus and a friend, Fernando D’Vincente.”…I guess Jesus get’s cranky if he can’t get his doubles in.
While you’ve been reading this, Pitino has had approximately 14 sexual encounters.
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