There’s nothing better than a little divisional and state rivalry to kick off the playoffs. Two teams will enter and one will leave whining about Sidney Crosby or Daniel Briere. Starting in Pittsburgh tonight we’ll have a rematch of last year’s Eastern Conference Finals, where the Pens curbstomped the Flyers on their way to getting curbstomped by the Red Wings in the Finals. If you’re keeping track at home, that means the Flyers would have gotten double curbstomped by the Wings.
One of the biggest stories to come out of the series last year was a cute little statue war. Pens fans came to Philly and put a jersey on the Rocky Statue and then Flyer fans did the same to some less memorable statue in Pittsburgh. It was cute in a fifth grade everyone crowd around ’cause the two losers in the class are about to get in a fight kind of way (seriously that guy on the right looks about as tough as a pack of Skittles). They really could have done better, but for what it was, it was pretty entertaining since it was a rainy Tuesday in fifth grade and there really wasn’t anything else going on.
So, to help our these two cute little fanbases that clearly need some inspiration for getting under each other’s skin, here are some ideas. Hopefully they’re more entertaining than dressing up a statue. That’s really only entertainment if you’re some kind of a history buff.
– Kidnap a player on your own team and film a terrorist hostage video as if they were kidnapped by your opponents. Release it to Al Jazeera and hopefully when the State Department gets hold of it they launch a military offensive against your opponent. Hey, you can’t lose if you don’t have anyone to play against!
– Paste a picture of Alex Ovechkin’s mug on Sidney Crosby’s mirror. He’ll think he is trapped in some kind of horrible dream. It’ll be priceless!
– Chant “Ryan Miller” when Marty Biron is in net.
– Call the police and tell them Jean Claude Van Damme is loose in Pittsburgh and planning to blow up the Igloo. Wait a minute…
– Find Stone Cold Steve Austin. Tell him that everyone on [opponent’s team] called him a ‘candy assed jabroni’. Sit back and watch the mayhem.
– If you’re Philadelphia, don’t do anything that would result in a ‘call to arms’ from the Pensblog.
– If you’re Pittsburgh, don’t do anything that would remind Flyer fans about the Eagles (you don’t want to cue them into that psychotic rage which hibernates deep inside their heads this time of year).
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