NEW YORK, NY — While most North Americans have never really believed in New Jersey’s existence — most consider it a mythical place that was buried under garbage centuries ago — scientists say they have proven that it does, in fact, exist. However, their research has come under scrutiny from residents of New York City, the Republican Party and the famed socialist political group New Jersey Deniers of America.
“I’ve lived in New York City for 15 years,” said Rob Stornbrough who works as a sales consultant and resides on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. “I know that people say New Jersey exists, but frankly, they’re just trying to make a landfill with a few highways a state. That goes against the basic tenets of America.”
When questioned further, Stornbrough refused to believe that his boss resides in Teaneck, New Jersey, saying that “[his boss] lives west of the City in a Pennsylvania suburb.” That, despite evidence that the Pennsylvania border is an hour’s drive from the City.
However, for better or worse, a sports figure has shed some light on this often contentious topic. Early reports coming out of the area west of New York City have reported that NHL goaltender Martin Brodeur broke the all-time record for wins last night against the Chicago Blackhawks. These reports also state that Brodeur, revered by hockey fans as one of the greatest goaltenders of all-time has not been playing for the New York Rangers for the last 16 seasons.
Who has he been playing for?
Sources close to the situation say it is a New Jersey based team called the ‘Devils’. This revelation brings new life to the pro-Jersey movement, which tried unsuccessfully to claim that the state was home to the Stanley Cup winner in 1995, 2000 and 2003. Critics called those moves a cheap attempt at media attention while supporters point to the fact that those titles are recognized by the NHL itself.
While the situation surrounding this so called New Jersey is still developing, it is clear that whomever he has played for Martin Broduer is one of the greatest goalies in NHL history. He now has 552 wins all-time, eclipsing Patrick Roy’s legendarymark of 551. Even if nobody has really payed much attention to Broduer or his team, it is clear that he is one of the best the NHL has ever seen.
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