Fun with splits

Again, I’m still experiencing computer problems, so I can’t get too in-depth. However, I’ve had my eye on some of the Boston batters’ splits, and I thought it might be fun to share them. I’ll present them in the form of our usual daily lineup.
Before I begin, though, I just have to ask it: what the heck is Ramon Vazquez supposed to bring to the table, again? What is it he does well? He doesn’t pitch, he doesn’t run well, he doesn’t hit well, and he can’t catch the ball. Why exactly is this loser on our roster?
OK, enough of that. Let’s get to the splits, shall we? Here we go, the Red Sox lineup versus RHP:
Johnny Damon: .340/.385/.472
Edgar Renteria: .247/.290/.343
David Ortiz: .300/.386/.616
Manny Ramirez: .314/.388/.622
Kevin Millar: .288/.360/.436
Trot Nixon: .302/.383/.514
Jason Varitek: .286/.349/.488
Bill Mueller: .285/.388/.392
Mark Bellhorn: .213/.326/.347
Looking at those numbers, a few things make themselves obvious. First, yes, Renteria & Bellhorn have been veritable black holes in our lineup (although Renteria moreso than Bellhorn, Renteria’s OBP & SLG versus RHP being horrid, horrendous, horrific, horrifying, horrible, and any other adjectives beginning with horr- that you can think of). And yes, Big Papi is a beast.
For that matter, so is Johnny Damon.
And now, the Red Sox lineup versus LHP:
Johnny Damon: .330/.382/.462
Edgar Renteria: .333/.391/.548
David Ortiz: .314/.372/.547
Manny Ramirez: .178/.303/.356
Kevin Millar: .234/.324/.266
Trot Nixon: .308/.419/.308
Jason Varitek: .392/.483/.745
Bill Mueller: .302/.403/.434
Mark Bellhorn: .247/.360/.370
And there are several noteworthy curiosities here. First, in Edgar Renteria’s defense, as badly as he hits RHP, he mashes against lefties, so at least he can do something right. Also, Manny’s struggles have been very well documented, but what’s Kevin Millar doing? Not so hot, Kentucky Fried Kev. Meanwhile, Bill Mueller’s usual splits are reversed, and Captain Tek is having a heckuva season. He’s a pretty good hitter against righties, especially for a catcher, but he’s been Superman against LHP this year. Absolutely unbelievable.
And, which is what I had most wanted to point out here, what’s gotten into Papi & Nixon? What’s this? Nixon doing some hitting (albeit not for power) against LHP? What kind of crazy nonsense is that? And Papi too?
Plain & simple, Big Papi David Ortiz is just a beast, and that’s all we need to say about that. Seriously, can you say MVP?
Oh, and let’s not forget to give Johnny Damon his props, either. How good of a season is this guy having? He’s hitting righties, he’s hitting lefties, he’s hitting everybody every day. And after yesterday’s game, Damon is in the midst of a 13-game hitting streak — that is bringing down his overall batting average. Think about that. Heckuva season by a great leadoff man, one of the best of our time.
And as for poor Bellhorn … well, at least he’ll make a fine utility infielder when Pedroia is called up and we cut that useless Ramon Vazquez.