Not exactly a great episode by any stretch. Frankly, the preview for next week’s show was better than this week’s outing.
5)Rob Stark’s mom is stupid
That damn Littlefinger. He had to give Mrs. Stark her husband’s bones to make her heart soften a bit a few episodes back. Throw in stupid Greyjoy’s plot to overtake Winterfell and you have a mother who obviously doesn’t get warfare. Have to say, Rob was pretty cold when it came to telling his mom that she was under arrest. He was not a happy Stark. Seriously, she better hope that Tyrion survives next week’s episode because there is no way in 7 hells Joffery and Cerseie will give back Sansa. Also, nothing made me laugh harder when seeing Jamie Lannister and the 8 foot tall girl who looks like Clay Aiken, row away in their little canoe.
4) Rob Stark gets laid
It seems like getting laid on GOT is almost as easy as finding a sibling to have sex with. No courting or romantic dinners. Just…”Hey, Let us have sex and that’s that.” Obviously, Rob was having a bad day with all of his family either captured or playing butler or under his arrest. So, he was probably feeling needy and after the nurse told a riveting tale about CPR, he was turned on and didn’t give a crap about the prior arrangements. So what will happen now? If he didn’t arrest his mom, he might have not slept with the nurse, as his mom reminded him a few episodes back about the promise he made to marry the daughter of the Lord of the Twins. The Twins dad isn’t going to be happy.
3) Wrong kind of whore
So much for that lovely moment Cersie and Tyrion had last week when reminiscing about their f#$ked up lives. Cersei thought she was able to infiltrate Tyrion’s little secret, alas, it was the other whore, who hasn’t exactly been having a great couple of weeks. First, she saw a baby murdered during the first episode and then she had to beat up her co-worker/whore when Joffery was “experimenting” with sadomasochism. Now she’s pegged as the dwarf’s main squeeze. Why didn’t she just deny it? Also, how did Cersei find out? Did Varys spill the beans and deliberately give the queen bad info?
2) Greyjoy is still a tool
Poor Theon. He’s a tool of epic tool sheds, but the guy can’t get any respect. His sister pretty much took a huge dump on his gallant hostile takeover of Winterfell. Now he has like 20 men guarding Winterfell? Good luck with that. Seems like this isn’t going to end nicely for Theon. Oh, and Bran and Rickon are alive which comes to no ones surprise.
1) WAR!!!!
As I wrote in the opening, next week’s episode looks bad ass. Battle of douchebag kings: Stanis vs. Joffery. Battle of the cougars: Cersei vs. Melisandre. Battle of disfigured knights: The Hound (Melted face) vs. Davos Seaworth (Missing finger tips). Seriously, I hope these two factions destroy each other. The whole preview was pretty much them killing each other. It is going to be a fun ride!
Quick hits:
–Jon Snow should have just hooked up with this girl. Also, where is his wolf at?
–Daenerys needs to just take one for Team Dragon and marry the Barry White looking guy. You get your dragons back and boat full of gold. Sounds like a decent trade off.
–Why did Ayra have to take the fat kid with her? Is her plan to kill him and feast on the chubby kid if they get lost?
–We didn’t see anyone get killed in this episode. Ultimate fail.
–I’m going to miss the Tywin/Ayra dynamic.
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