GAMEDAY 47: M I crooked letter crooked letter O U R I

PITTSBURGH (30-11-5) VS ST. LOUIS (23-19-5)

THE PAINT CAN. PITTSBURGH, PA.

7:00 PM EST. NBCSN

The Penguins welcome the Blues and all the Steelers fans to The Paint Can tonight in a NBCSN aired out of conference showdown between two teams that are heading in opposite directions. The Penguins have won their last 4 in a row despite being down their top 2 defenders, while the Blues have dropped 3 straight. The Blues are 7-12-1 on the road this year, and starting goaltender Jake Allen is reportedly out of this match-up due to mental issues, which we assume were caused by watching tape of the last 4 Pens games. With the exception of Vladimir Tarasenko the Blues really have nothing worth writing home about, and they currently reside clinging to a one point cushion in the Wild Card spot. St. Louis attempted a Justin Schultz type rescue with Nail Yakupov this offseason, but they have been unsuccessful in wiping all the Oiler shit off of him, as he currently boasts a 3G-3A campaign in 27 games played.

There really isn’t much to talk about or hate about the Blues because they are a mediocre team from the West that isn’t a Stanley Cup contender, so I will take this time to catch any of you Steelers fans up since this is the first hockey game of the year.

Things to say in the bar tonight to fit in:

• Crosby and Malkin will most likely be 1 and 2 in points by the end of February
• Everyone says the Blues are the perfect team to trade Fleury to, but I just don’t see it making sense if you think about it
• Every time the Penguins fire a coach they win the Stanley Cup, maybe the Steelers should #fireTomlin
• This isn’t a surprise; the Pens have been phenomenal on home ice this year
• The Steelers only outscored the Penguins by 4 last Sunday, how good is this team

Things to avoid saying in the bar tonight:

• I watch hockey after football season because it’s something to do, but football has way more action
• The Sid and the Kids line is looking good tonight
  • Seriously, do not try to make that nickname a thing, we will find you, and we will make you watch every failed 2-point conversion from this year
• If Fleury is in net: “Murray would’ve saved that,” If Murray is in net: ”Fleury would’ve had that one.”

PROJECTED STARTING LINEUPS:

Full disclaimer I am typing this the night before and pretty doped up for a head cold, but don’t be surprised to see Brian Dumoulin back either tonight or Thursday. There shouldn’t be any changes to the Penguins line up (I left Hornqvist in the top spot here, but that’s only due to superstition at this point), with the biggest question mark being the goaltender situation. Murray has started 4 straight, but has only given up 1 goal in each of his last 3. It wouldn’t shock me to see Sullivan go with Fleury tonight and Murray Thursday, but I certainly won’t get mad if he takes the MMX Express straight through the ASG. As for the Blues, they will most likely start back-up goalie Carter Hutton, unless they turn to third stringer Pheonix Copley, which is most likely a fake person (also, that isn’t a typo, they spelled Phoenix Pheonix).

WHO TO WATCH:

FOR ST.LOUIS:          VLADIMIR TARASENKO

He is the only bright spot for the Blues this season, and they should be thanking their lucky stars that he signed a max contract with them last year when they showed some promise. The Penguins defense has held the fort the last 3 games, but none of those teams with the exception of Montreal had a player with Tarasenko’s ability. Honorable mentions here were Previous Player 41, and Colton Parayko.

FOR PITTSBURGH:          Mike Sullivan

When Sullivan redrafted the lines following the three game skid he created something other teams haven’t been able to answer. The Blues have a lineup that lends itself to some very lopsided matchups in the Penguins favor, for instance the HBK line against the blues 3^rd line, and the Malkin unit against the 2^nd defensive pairing of Bortuzzo and Shattenkirk. If Sullivan can use his last change rights to get the match-ups he wants, this game will result in the biggest display of unjust brutality Missouri has ever seen.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

The Penguins are rolling four strong lines that Carey Price and the Canadiens, Tuukka Rask and the Bruins, and Cam Ward and the Hurricanes haven’t been able to come close to answering. Do the Blues have an answer for this? Probably not. Will an off game eventually happen, of course, and being this is one of two remaining games before the all-star break it is a prime candidate. However, in the Mike Sullivan era we’ve seen few of these trap games pan out to be trap games, and if the Pens continue to roll their lines and stay out of penalty trouble I don’t see the Blues having an answer tonight.

LET’S GO PENS