GAMEDAY 52: More Like Embers

PITTSBURGH (33-13-5) VS CALGARY (27-25-3)

THE PAINT CAN. PITTSBURGH, PA

7:00 PM EST ROOT SPORTS

Welcome back to hockey my dear friends. Tonight the Penguins will host the Calgary Flames with a lineup that looks like Sullivan went to an online band name generator to create. Following the game against the St. Louis Shitbags the Pens have lost Carl Hagelin for an undetermined amount of time due to a concussion from a completely undeserving of a hearing hit to the head. Tonight marks another special night for many fans as the Penguins and the NHL for once didn’t stick their own foot in their ass, and are hosting a Pride night. TPB writer Cassy Anders wrote about the Pride night and what it means to fans here, definitely worth the read if you’ve got time, and it’s Tuesday so you do. As for the hockey that will be played, it’s hard to predict what you will get in games with the Flames. Calgary is a fringe Wild Card team, which is something that has been said about them in February for the last 6 years. They are another one of those teams like Boston and Vancouver that admit they need to rebuild but don’t have the balls to truly embrace a rebuild. The result is being a bubble playoff team, sneaking in at some point in April, and being on the Beach 1 week later in April. Is this Calgary team any different? Probably not. Do I have any merit for saying that? Definitely not, except for the percentage of prior probability. The current injuries to the Penguins make this game a little a lot more even in terms of rosters. The Penguins were already down the greatest and grittiest player in the world, Conor Sheary and Mister 101 before announcing the Hagelin injury. No word yet on if Tom Kuhnhackl actually put the lotion on his skin before Sullivan let him out of the hole.

So why is Calgary so, Calgary? For starters let’s assess their Cap situation. Currently they have 200k in cap space and pay their defense almost 27 million dollars. To put that into perspective, the Penguins pay 19.5 to their defense. Obviously the Penguins get a boost due to Dumoulin’s entry level deal and Schultz’s yuge discount but still. Even at 4 million each the Pens would pay the same amount as Calgary for defenders, and which defense would you prefer? Deryk Engelland and his 2.9 million per year deal is finally up for the Flames after this season, we haven’t seen a D pissing on money like that since R. Kelly.

PROJECTED STARTING LINEUPS:

What a custerfluck. These are the lines that the Penguins practiced with yesterday, and unless there is a call up I expect some combination of these. Poor Hornqvist man, plays really well and gets demoted two lines because his fellow Swede lost his head. No joke though, that third line is going to hit everything that moves tonight. Carter Rowney hasn’t been bad in his three game stint thus far, most importantly he shows improvement every game. Calgary has some good talent in that forward group, who knows what they will become if they all recognize and achieve said talent. Calgary’s weakest point is where all their money goes and that is the defense. Spending that much money to get that lineup in return is like buying the Kelly Blue Book value for a car that was totaled.

WHO TO WATCH:

FOR CALGARY:          DOUGIE HAMILTON

For weeks and weeks Hamilton’s name was tied to the Penguins as a potential trade was rumored. Much like every other Marc-Andre Fleury trade rumor it didn’t happen. For the record, Fleury isn’t getting traded. You heard it here first. It doesn’t make any sense, it’s not happening. So back to Hamilton, what does 5.75 million get you these days? In his first season with Calgary Hamilton went 12G-31A for 43 Points in 82 games, and so far this year he has 8G-25A for 32 points in 54 games. Sign number one he could never be a Penguin, he doesn’t miss enough games, freaking over achiever.

FOR PITTSBURGH:          SIDNEY CROSBY

Crosby went into St. Louis knowing it was one of like two cities he had never scored in, so he did what anyone would do and took the sexiest girl home with him, except it’s Sidney Crosby so she really was the sexiest girl, not the 2 that looked like a 10. Also, it’s Sidney Crosby, so by sexy girl I mean hockey films because let’s be real. After his 3 point night Crosby finds himself resting near the top of the league in points and at career point 997. The next two games for the Pens are on the road against Vancouver and Arizona, so if Sid is going to hit #1,000 at home it would have to be tonight. He always has a flare for the dramatic, I say he gets it.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

The Penguins have a prime opportunity with these next 3 games to collect some of the easier points you can grab in the NHL. Will they win all 3? Probably not, because it is the NHL in 2016. The current injuries and lineup situation don’t help, but with the current schedule it’s better to have the injuries now than in March. Just trying to stay optimistic here, sorry. For the last 3 weeks the Penguins have changed their approach to starting games, they used to come out full throttle. Though this was exciting for the fans it also allowed a lot of early goals against. Sullivan now has the team taking their time “feeling out” the opponent for the first 8-10 minutes. Due to this and the mixing of the lines, I would expect a bit slower than normal start tonight, so look for Crosby to score at the 15 minute mark. Regardless of their line up the Penguins will still go toe to toe with Calgary, and if they can roll 4 lines like they did in St. Louis then this one should end happily for all of us.

Burning Questions: Will Crosby use the PRIDE night rainbow stick tape? Will Steigy make an inappropriate comment? How many times will Steigy mess up the letters in LGTBQIA? Tune in tonight to find out!

LET’S GO PENS