GAMEDAY 53: At Least There’s Pot?

PITTSBURGH (33-13-6) VS COLORADO (15-33-2)

PEPSI CENTER, DENVER, CO.

9:00 PM EST. ROOT SPORTS

Tonight the Penguins take on the Cololrado Avalanche as the city of Pittsburgh is currently covered with snow, perfect. Believe it or not these two teams met much earlier in the season and the Avalanche were able to pull out a 4-3 OT victory. Colorado started the season by beating the Stars 6-5, the Penguins 4-3, a loss to the Capitals, and then blanking the Lightning 4-0. To prove that people telling you their hot takes in October are as pointless as flavored condoms, people were saying then that this Avalanche team was going to do some damage this year. They have since won 12 games. 12 wins since October 20th. Now, being Penguins fans we suffered through some dark times obviously, so this got me thinking about the all-time worst NHL seasons.

The most recent worst season recorded was by the 1999-2000 Atlanta Thrashers who finished 14-57-7-4, so congratulations to the Avalanche for not being that bad. The worst Penguins record ever was the ’83-’84 season when they finished 16-58-6. During the “dark days” between 2001-2006 the Penguins finished with 28,27,23, and 22 wins, respectively. The Avalanche have 32 games remaining in their schedule, and at their current winning pace of 30% they are projected to finish with somewhere between 24 and 25 wins. For the record (pun intended) the worst regular season according to this post belongs to the 1974-75 Washington Capitals, who finished that season with a whopping 8-67-5 record.

So what can we expect tonight? In respect to the general way games against the Penguins go I expect to see the early 2000’s version of the Avalanche take the ice tonight, with vintage Patrick Roy in net. Luckily for Colorado fans they can hit up their local dispensary and if it is strong enough maybe they will think that is the team they saw. Of course, after watching this current version of the Avalanche their fans probably just assume they are on a constant bad trip anyways.

PROJECTED STARTING LINEUPS:

Evgeni Malkin made the trip with the team, but is not expected to play tonight. Scott Wilson was somewhat injured in the previous game but so far no announcement of a replacement has been made, and being that the team is already in Colorado I wouldn’t expect one. The Penguins put their Pride Night shirts up for sale and the first thing I saw was the #12 IGINLA shirt. What a fun memory that was. Also, GOLOUBEF. The hell is that? He most likely scores tonight. The Penguins will probably roll with Murray tonight, even though some people don’t understand why. He’s the starter, that’s why. As for the Avs goalie, Varlamov is off slapping women or something, so they are rolling with Pickard.

WHO TO WATCH:

FOR COLORADO:

I mean come on. Fans of this team only show up to watch the opposing team at this point. Avalanche management has had this game circled for weeks, because having Sidney Crosby in town allows them to clear their overhead for the first time in months.

FOR PITTSBURGH:          JUSTIN SCHULTZ

Schultz has gone from whipping boy in Edmonton to what the fuck was Rutherford thinking to Oh My God Jimmy sign this bastard and sign him now in less than 12 months. His awareness and speed are becoming more and more apparent as he has grown comfortable on the Pens blue line. Nearly ending the Calgary game with a full ice breakout and hitting the post, Schultz is flying right now and I don’t think Colorado is going to be the team to slow him down. After his beyond lazy holding penalty in overtime I wanted to criticize Trevor Daley here but wasn’t sure if that was allowed during Black History month.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Imagine having to travel through 2 time zones to go to a 4 hour meeting that prevents you from enjoying the city you’re in, knowing that the presentation at the meeting is going to look like a powerpoint put together by someone that still uses netscape as an internet browser. That is what the Penguins have to get amped up for tonight. They are probably as excited to be playing the Avalanche as you are to watch them play the Avalanche. Our only hope is the Penguins jump on them early in the first so we can all go to bed knowing all is well. If the Penguins play their game there is no way in heaven, hell or anywhere else that the Avalanche can stick with them. Getting the Penguins to play their game tonight is the job of Sullivan and the staff, and hopefully the lackluster effort against Calgary helps in that regard. My final thought is this: Number 68 autograph session coming up in Pittsburgh, perhaps the last #jagrwatch.

-Be sure to check out our stories on Crosby and our awesome coverage and exclusive interview of the NWHL All-Star game that is going down in Pittsburgh.