GAMEDAY: Got a bone to pick.

I’d sure like to kick the NHL’s schedule maker in the crotch right now.  It’s bad enough March has 31 days and the Pens are playing on 39 of them. And at this moment, I’d have a better shot of containing air in my hand than putting together something legible for an early Sunday game on St. Patrick’s Day weekend.

Let’s give it a shot.

A lot of other bloggers are going to give you straightforward stats in their gameday’s this morning and call it a day, for example; Pittsburgh is 6-1-1 in its past eight games, the Penguins are one point behind the Columbus Blue Jackets for second place in the Metropolitan Division, and three behind the Capitals for first place in the Eastern Conference and NHL, but over here you also get to know things like green beer stays green for the duration of its time in your body, whether it be a few hours or just a few minutes. Also, Yukon Jack is not a viable replacement for Crown Royal when you drink all of the Crown Royal. Couple of Advanced Stats for ya.

Moving on…

Jaromir Jagr — the timeless legend that he is — is playing his 1,700 career NHL game today. Imagine playing that many games. Imagine doing anything 1,700 times. Seems impossible.

Jagr still gets a little heat with some Penguins fans, which is still bizarre. If you hold a grudge against someone who left your favorite sports team for a better situation for this long, just wait until you figure out your wife left you years ago. Going to be eye-opening, for sure.

We’ve been preaching to the choir about Jagr for years here. If you can’t appreciate him by this point, well, it must suck to not see the joy in celebrating one of the most genuine, truly fun things this sport has going for it. Jaromir Jagr wants to play forever, and god dammit we should all be pulling for him to do so.

How many players would sign autographs at a mall in the city of the team they’re playing?

#JagrWatch is in full effect at @TotalSportsEnt pic.twitter.com/oc8w1ZT9Q2

— Matt Steiner (@mattsteiner412) March 18, 2017

Penguins projected lineup

Jake Guentzel — Sidney Crosby — Conor Sheary

Phil Kessel — Matt Cullen — Patric Hornqvist

Chris Kunitz — Nick Bonino — Scott Wilson

Tom Sestito — Carter Rowney — Tom Kuhnhackl

Brian Dumoulin — Justin Schultz

Ian Cole — Derrick Pouliot

Mark Streit — Chad Ruhwedel

• Malkin is out again. People are jammed that he was hurt while attempting to block a shot with his head. Here’s the thing: It probably isn’t the best idea for one of your best players to be trying to block shots with his head, however, the spin zone is we can put the lazy, only plays when he wants narrative to bed for a bit, and really sink our teeth into the Geno is out there playing Russian Roulette narrative. Angry Russian Geno is my favorite Geno. Roll that Geno right into the postseason and wait for the magic to happen.

Panthers projected lineup

Jonathan Huberdeau — Aleksander Barkov — Jaromir Jagr

Jussi Jokinen — Vincent Trocheck — Reilly Smith

Thomas Vanek — Nick Bjugstad — Jonathan Marchessault

Shawn Thornton — Derek MacKenzie — Colton Sceviour

Keith Yandle — Jason Demers

Michael Matheson — Alex Petrovic

Jakub Kindl — Mark Pysyk

https://twitter.com/StoolChiclets/status/843474892737691648

Go Pens.