GAMEDAY: Songs about Detroit

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There are a lot of songs about Detroit. A large portion of this city’s foundation is its roots in the music industry, and many talented musical acts got their starts in Detroit, so it does make sense that there be so many. I’m not sure how they all didn’t find themselves singing about cars or factories, but that doesn’t matter. The music that originated from this area, for the most part, was pretty good.

But there are literally hundreds of songs that were written about or somehow include Detroit, with more being written every day. Is it overkill? Maybe. There are other cities out there who could probably use some love. Look at what this guy is doing for New Jersey — if he can find the motivation to sing about that hellhole, anything is truly possible.

Back to the point, which just left faster than Mike Babcock — songs about Detroit. Since music and hockey go together like Eminem and Elton John, without further ado: Here are the Top-3 Best Songs About Detroit:

#3 – “Detroit Breakdown” — J. Geils Band

Best lyric: “I got something mean stickin’ in my pocket / Until you tried it you, better not knock  it / Doin’ the Detroit breakdown, oh the Motor City shakedown” 

How it applies to the Red Wings: That thing in their pocket was money, the breakdown was their offseason. We never talked about how bad their offseason was. Can we talk about how bad their offseason was?

Replacing Pavel Datsyuk as a consistent scoring threat and two-way stalwart down the middle is….Frans Nielsen. How’s that working out? And, oh, he’s being paid $5.25MM until 2022.

They also re-signed:

-Justin Abdelkader, who sucks, until 2023 at $4.25MM per season.

-Darren Helm, who sucks, until 2021 at $3.85MM per season.

-Luke Glendening, who sucks, until 2021 at $1.8MM per season.

-Danny DeKeyser, who sucks, until 2022 at $5MM per season.

Other notables: signed Thomas Vanek for 45% of his gambling debts and Steve Ott, who also sucks. Is it any surprise they’re in 12th place in the East right now? Mike Green is their fourth-leading scorer. Mike Green. Yikes.

#2 “Panic in Detroit” — David Bowie

Best Lyric: “A trickle of strangers were all that were left alive / Panic in Detroit, I asked for an autograph”

How it applies to the Red Wings: It’s an adequate metaphor for what will likely be happening in their defensive zone tonight, and for what happens pretty much every night for their joke defense. Also, their fan base for when they inevitably miss the playoffs this season.

#1 “Don’t Stop Believin” — Journey

Best Lyric: “born and raised in South Detroit”

How it applies to the Red Wings: Unlike last year when the Wings rode a wave of mediocrity into the playoffs, this year they will continue to suck, and miss the playoffs for the first time in 25 years. Heard it here first. But, you know, don’t stop believin‘…

Anyway, the Pens play the Wings tonight. Undoubtedly, it will be a spirited affair. The Pens and Wings have averaged a combined 7.3 goals per game in their past eight meetings. And while we know what the Pens offense can do, their defense has not been good lately: surrendering three or more goals in four of their past six, so Saturday night’s gonna be alright for goal scoring.

Detroit sucks.

Go Pens.

 

 

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