Getting Percy Back to Camp was Easy, Says Brad

Percy

On Monday morning, a familiar face appeared in Minnesota Vikings practice. No, it wasn’t everyones favorite gray haired quarterback, but rather the diminutive receiver Percy Harvin, who had a two week absence due to his grandmother’s death and a recent bout with migraine headaches.

His appearance was a relief to many, including Vikings head coach Brad Childress who, after sending out a 5-day warning letter over the weekend, revealed what the real impetus was for getting Harvin to return to the field.

“Was it easy to get Percy back? Yes, it was easy to get Percy back” Brad commented Tuesday morning after his breakfast of egg whites and 37 grain toast. “What we did was the old Hansel and Gretel trick to get him back up here from Florida.”

When asked to expound upon his allusion, Childress let a wry smile cross his face and only said further, “Let’s just say we have some ‘guys’ with certain ‘items’ that would attract Percy over the weekend, both to make him ‘feel better’ and medically reduce his ‘migraines’. We left ‘encouragers’ all along the highways from Florida back to Minnesota, and we got Percy back here in no time. You could say that when he finally arrived he was ‘all smiles’ and ‘totally high’ and maybe even ‘wasted out of his fucking mind.’

“But he’s here, and ready to practice, and we’re really looking forward to him getting out on the field this week and this upcoming preseason game.”

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