Are you sick of boring play-by-play commentators like Ian Eagle sapping the excitement out of your nailbiting NCAA tournament games? Have you resorted to watching games on mute because you don’t want to hear Greg Anthony whining about “suspect” calls that were actually correct? Do you wish there was a way to have Gus Johnson call every game you watch? Have no fear sports fans, the future is now. [via Deadspin]
The Gus Johnson soundboard is easy to use, and isn’t limited to college basketball. Have a friend that isn’t good enough to ball with you at the Y? Put him on the sidelines with a computer, a speaker, and this soundboard, and it’s like Gus Johnson is right there, screaming his lungs out while you and your other buddies build a brick castle on Court #3. Having trouble breaking the ice with that pretty girl at the bar? If she doesn’t get wet when hearing Johnson say, “Rise and fire, count it,” then she isn’t worth it. And she’s probably a lesbian anyway. Do you not know what to say when someone introduces you to a new acquaintance? “I’m Gus Johnson, and I get buckets” makes one hell of a first impression.
Seriously though, Detroit sports fans, why don’t we have one of these for our favorite commentators? Rod Allen, George Blaha, and the entire Red Wings broadcasting crew have provided us with more than enough catchy phrases to throw a few of these together. Nothing makes me stop and listen quite like Mickey Redmond saying, “Hold it right there, gang.” That shit just stops you in your tracks altogether. When my mom asks me what I want for breakfast, it would be way cooler if George Blaha could tell her, “Special K” without missing a beat. And I’d like to call my buddies “podna,” but no one says it quite like our very own Rod Allen. So I challenge you, Detroit sports lovers, get us a few soundboards to call our own. The entire world would be indebted to your great service.
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