***Welcome to LeOrangeDrink’s place!***
Staal_boy11: …So then she’s all ‘my name’s AMANDA, not HEATHER!’ and I’m just like, ‘Whatever.’ Then I squeezed her tits.
SidneyNotKidney: Sometimes I wonder if these stories are real or if you make them up just to disgust me.
***LeOrangeDrink has entered the room!***
LeOrangeDrink: Hey guys, I got the movie. Now, don’t make fun of me for what I got—
Staal_boy11: Oh man, is it freakin’ Twilight or some crap like that?
LeOrangeDrink:…yes. BUT! Hear me out, hear me out: I figure…lots of girls like Twilight, right? So, if we watch it…
SidneyNotKidney: We turn into girls?
LeOrangeDrink: No. We’ll, like, get into their heads. If we can understand Twilight, we can understand girls!
ToThaMAXX: I understand girls just fine without being some wuss sparkly vampire. They should just makes a movie about me.
LeOrangeDrink: Max, anytime I tried your “advice”, I just got slapped in my face. But this is stuff for girls written by a real girl. It’s GOT to work!
SidneyNotKidney: Whatever, if you say it will.
Onscreen…
Edward: I’m Edward Cummen. I’m a vampire, but I only feed on animals. It’s so hard being so dark and handsome and broody. I watch people when they sleep, because I am a creepy stalker.
Jacob: I’m Jacob Black…cock. And I’m a werewolf. I’m so hot, shirts burn when they hit my skin, so I’m stuck being shirtless, like, all the time. Can anyone help me rub this warm baby oil all over my body?
Edward: We are both such outcasts…
Jacob: But you’re a vampire and I’m a werewolf! Aren’t we supposed to fight or something?
Edward: I hate you so much for no discernable reason! (heavily faked fighting ensues)
Staal_boy11: Uh…nice special effects? No way are those two that chiseled.
LeOrangeDrink: Are they…making out?
SidneyNotKidney: I don’t remember this part in the book…I mean, I don’t remember hearing about it, because I’m totally not a fan.
Staal_boy11: Wait…maybe it’s like those porns where it starts out with just two girls, and then the dude shows up later? Maybe they’re just warming up for the chicks?
LeOrangeDrink: Uhh, yeah! They’re just waiting for chicks!
45 minutes later…
ToThaMAXX: Hey guys, I’m not seeing any chicks here. What gives?
SidneyNotKidney: I dunno…with some of the emo kids and stuff out there, a lot of times, you can’t tell if it’s a girl or a guy.
LeOrangeDrink: Good point.
2 hours later…
Staal_boy11: Oh. Wow. Uh…
LeOrangeDrink: I don’t get it. To understand girls, we have to be broody and never smile and sleep with dudes? It seems a bit…counterproductive.
ToThaMAXX: Man, whoever wrote this has no idea how girls think. They should have talked to me!
SidneyNotKidney: Wait a second. That couldn’t have been Twilight, no way. Let me see the case. It says here, “Twinklight: Full Moon. The hot new sequel to the smash hit ‘Twinklight’. In this sexy adventure, broody pretty-boy vampire Edward Cummen finds a new playmate for his trips to the woods when gorgeous werewolf Jacob Black-Cock cums to town!” I guess now we know why there is a “Team Jacob” and “Team Edward” but no “Team Bella.”
Staal_boy11: Holy crap, did we just spend 3 hours watching gay porn?
ToThaMAXX: What were you thinking, LeTang?
LeOrangeDrink: Well, I went to the video store and I thought a western would be kind of cool. So I went to the back of the store, went through the swinging saloon doors…and suddenly all of the covers had people hugging and girls covered in goo on them. I just grabbed this one and got out of there.
Staal_boy11: Tanger, you spent money on pornography? For shame! You can get that shit free on the interwebs!
SidneyNotKidney: I think we can all agree that this never leaves this room.
Staal_boy11: For sure.
LeOrangeDrink: Yes.
ToThaMAXX: Totally.
***Fleury_Avec_Sprinkles has entered the chat room!***
Fleury_Avec_Sprinkles: Hey guys! Sorry I was so late, the mall was just so crazy, and traffic was even worse!
SidneyNotKidney: No problem, Flower. Those kinds of things happen.
Fleury_Avec_Sprinkles: But I bought a movie we could watch.
Staal_boy11: Which one? Is it Transformers?
Fleury_Avec_Sprinkles: It’s something I saw in the back, I think it’s foreign. It’s called “Twatlight.”
LeOrangeDrink: GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW!
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