***Welcome to the Offical Chat room of the Pittsburgh Penguins!***
Fleury_Avec_Sprinkles: Man, I dunno what to get Sidney for his birthday party domorrow. I gots no ideas!
StaalBoy_11: Why do you care about Sidney’s birthday? All you guys did for mine was kick me in the butt and give me a gift card for Hooters.
ToThaMAX_69: It’s in August.
LeOrangeDrink: Yeah, I dunno about you guys, but I find August really effin boring. We have to have some fun with it.
StaalBoy_11: I know what I’m doing–I’m making my present!
ToThaMAX69: Oh what, you get out your glitter and crayons?
StaalBoy_11: No, it’s much simpler than that. All I need is a box and a pair of scissors. I bet even you could do this, Flower.
Fleury_Avec_Sprinkles: Really? I listen. How do you make this thing?
StaalBoy_11: Well, it’s real simple. First, you cut a hole in the box–
LeOrangeDrink: I don’t think this is really appropriate, Jordan.
StaalBoy11: Shut up, he’s so gonna do it.
Fleury_Avec_Sprinkles: Hole in box. Et puis?
StaalBoy11: Then…put your junk in the box. And then you make him open the box and that’s the way you do it.
Fleury_Avec_Sprinkles: Oh! So simple! I could do ca in like cinq minutes!
The next day…
***Welcome to Sidney Crosby’s Birthday chat!***
SidneyNotKidney: Thanks you guys for coming out and getting me stuff, even if all you guys brought was bottles of Jack Daniels.
StaalBoy_11: Open mine next, Sid!
SidneyNotKidney: I’m not opening your box, Jordan.
StaalBoy_11: Why not?
SidneyNotKidney: What did you get me last year for my birthday?
StaalBoy_11: My dick in a box.
SidneyNotKidney: And what about for Christmas?
StaalBoy_11: …Dick in a box.
SidneyNotKidney: And Hannukah?
StaalBoy_11: Dick in a box, for eight crazy nights.
SidneyNotKidney: I’m not even Jewish, Jordan!
StaalBoy_11: What can I say? It’s a gift for all seasons.
Fleury_Avec_Sprinkles: Here’s mine, Sidney! I make it for you
SidneyNotKidney: Thanks, Fleury. But this…this is a box with broken rubber bands, shoelaces,candy wrappers, and loose change in it. And there’s a hole in the side…?
Fleury_Avec_Sprinkles: It is craft idea I got from Jordan!
StaalBoy_11: Wrong kind of junk, Fleur.
ToThaMAX69: Here is mine, Sid.
SidneyNotKidney:It’s porn, isn’t it? It’s always porn with you, except that time you bought me a blowup doll…
SidneyNotKidney:…Max, I dunno if I should punch you in the jeans or have you comitted.
ToThaMAX69: What’s wrong–is it too hot for you?
SidneyNotKidney: It’s “One Night in Chyna”!
LeOrangeDrink: “One Night in Chyna”? That’s just wrong!
StaalBoy11: I know! Why buy it when you can download it for free?
SidneyNotKidney: And it’s been pre-viewed!
TothaMAX69: Well, I had to make sure the DVD worked, you never know how it shifts during shipping.
***Delivery_Guy has entered the chat room!***
Delivery_guy: I have a delivery for a Mr. Sidney Crosby.
SidneyNotKidney: I’m Sidney Crosby.
Delivery_Guy: OK, Mr. Crosby. Here’s your goat.
***Delivery_guy has left a goat!***
***Delivery_Guy has left the chat room!***
SidneyNotKidney: Who would send me a goat?
***LeOrangeDrink has climbed onto the goat’s back***
LeOrangeDrink: Hey, everybody look at me, cuz I’m sitting on a goat!
StaalBoy_11: There’s a note here : “Dear Sidney, Happy Birthday! Here is a goat! I hope your girlfriend does not get jealous! HA! HA! HA! Ovie and Geno”
SidneyNotKidney: OVECHKIN!
StaalBoy_11: Heh, good one.
LeOrangeDrink: Sidney, I think your goat likes me just a little too much…
SidneyNotKidney: Forget that dumb goat. Let’s do a party game!
Fleury_Avec_Sprinkles: Like Pin ze Tail on ze Donkey? Or…goat. Whatever.
ToThaMAX69: Let’s do “Throw Stuff at LeTang”.
LeOrangedrink: No, let’s not.
StaalBoy_11: Let’s play “Get Drunk and Yell at Cars”!
SidneyNotKidney:No, you always win at “Get Drunk and Yell at Cars”
StaalBoy_11: Dude, everybody wins at “Get Drunk and Yell at Cars.” Unless the cops show up, then everyone loses.
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