MaiHartWillDion: Man, I’m glad some of us could get together outside of hockey stuff.
SchennSational: I know, right? A Boston-Vancouver final made me want to puke. Good thing it’s over.
KesselRun81Parsecs: Yeah, fack Bawston. Buncha dooshbags.
MaiHartWillDion: And the Canucks? Buncha whiners, divers, and creepy weirdos.
KesselRun81Parsecs: Ryan Kesler is one creepy sumbitch. I played with him in the Olympics, yanno. We won silver!
BozakAttack: No thanks to you, captain invisible.
KesselRun81Parsecs: At least I didn’t get my ass handed to me in Call of Duty last night, ya jagoff!
MaiHartWillDion: I’m glad you made it, Bozie. I’m surprised we could drag you away from the Xbox for a day.
BozakAttack: It’s not my fault that LA Noire is so freaking AWESOME. It makes me want to be a detective and drink scotch all day.
SchennSational: I’m just looking forward to doing the heckling instead of being heckled for once.
RANDOM DRUNK DUDE: YOU’RE A USELESS PYLON, SCHENN!
*** SchennSational has erased RANDOM DRUNK DUDE!***
SchennSational: Hey Jose Bautista—why do you even bother to wear a cup? Your balls are so tiny, nobody’s gonna hit them!
KesselRun81Parsecs: Don’t make fun of another dude’s junk like that!
MaiHartWillDion: Besides, those were unfounded charges.
SchennSational: Pffft. You gotta at least ask the question.
MaiHartWillDion: Hey Jays! How does it feel to be the Toronto team with the worst defense?
BozakAttack: And we still finished like 10th in the East.
KesselRun81Parsecs: Holy shitsnacks, that’s depressing.
SchennSational: At least we’re not Buffalo Sabres. Now THERE’s a city with a depressing sports history.
BozakAttack: I’d kill myself if I had to play for Buffalo.
MaiHartWillDion: What, and have Ryan Miller backing us up? I’d take it.
BozakAttack: I’d take him and leave the rest of the Sabres in Buffalo. Screw ‘em.
SchennSational: I dunno, I hear Ryan Miller has some back issues.
MaiHartWillDion: Wait, really?
SchennSational: Yeah, he strained himself carrying the whole team for the past 5 years!
***high fives all around!***
KesselRun81Parsecs: Back problems or not, Ryan Miller’s a pretty great guy. I played with him—
MaiHartWillDion: Phil, nobody gives a shit about your time at the Olympics.
BozakAttack: Especially when you still got picked last for the All-Star Draft herr her herr.
KesselRun81Parsecs: At least I was PICKED for the All-Star Game AND I won a car! It’s more than any of you sad sacks ever won.
MaiHartWillDion: Do I really need to remind you of who I am banging?
KesselRun81Parsecs: Oh riiight…how is Elisha, by the way?
MaiHartWillDion: None of your damn business.
***Awkward Silence!***
MaiHartWillDion: Just kidding, she’s pretty awesome.
KesselRun81Parsecs: Oh I bet she is…
KesselRun81Parsecs: /homer simpson drool
MaiHartWillDion: And just what is THAT supposed to mean?
KesselRun81Parsecs: Nothing! Nothing! It’s cool.
***more awkward silence!***
KesselRun81Parsecs: So, uh, anyone else notice Blue Jays can be abbreviated as “BJs”? Hehehe.
BozakAttack: Man, this game is so BORING. Where’s the clever playing? Where are the fights? I can’t believe people watch this for hours straight.
SchennSational: Well, Bozie they call baseball “the thinking man’s game.”
KesselRun81Parsecs: It’s ‘cuz you can think about anything else but how bored you are. Look at the guys in the outfield—they’re, like, just standin’ there, scratching their balls or something.
MaiHartWillDion: I dunno. I suppose there’s something to be said for the atmosphere of the crowd and such.
BozakAttack: If I wanted this environment, I could drink beer on a patio and heckle passers-by. Actually…that sounds pretty awesome.
KesselRun81Parsecs: Screw this, I’m getting’ some hawt dawgs. Bozie, what do you want on your hawtdawg?
BozakAttack: Lots of sauerkraut and onions!
KesselRun81Parsecs: Saurkraut’s gross as fack.
BozakAttack: What do you put on your hot dogs, Mr. Sophisticate?
KesselRun81Parsecs: I just put on lats and latsa ketchup on ‘em! MMMM!
MaiHartWillDion: Every time someone puts ketchup on a hot dog, the terrorists win.
KesselRun81Parsecs: Don’t tell me you’re one-a them people who thinks that, for whatever reason, what other people like somehow impacts your life in any way, shape, or form.
MaiHartWillDion: what’s wrong with having an opinion?
KesselRun81Parsecs: Just sayin’—I’ve never known a self-described “food snob” who wasn’t a miserable person…
BEER-GUY: BEER HERE!
KesselRun81Parsecs: I’ll take a beer!
BozakAttack: God yes, I’ll take beer. This sucks.
MaiHartWillDion: What do you have, my good man?
BEER-GUY: It’s been a hot sunny day, so all I have left is Bud Light with Lime.
BozakAttack: How the hell does a baseball game run out of beer?
SchennSational: Does Bud Light Lime have alcohol in it?
BEER-GUY: Well…yeah. It’s beer.
MaiHartWillDion: Screw it. We’ll take twelve. Each. Each of us shall have 12 beers.
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