Hey AMERICA, it’s your old pal JR. Just thought I’d send in a little greeting for all you Eurotrash wannabe commie bums out there. Yeah, the economy’s in the toilet. And sure, there are multiple wars going on that don’t seem to have an end. But today is not the day for sob stories and whining. Today is all about what makes AMERICA kick-ASS. Like how some news guy can call the president a dick, and he doesn’t get set on fire or anything. Sure, he’s probably lost his job and stuff, and it was a big blown-up deal, but whatever. You can disagree with him, but he can say his opinion—like how I can get on here and say how much Mike Milbury sucks and that’s a-ok (because seriously, screw that guy.) And how we have (mostly) drinkable water for everyone!
You know, I think I’m gonna settle in with some beer, Bud Light girls, watch some fireworks, and flip off any British people I see.
Happy 4th of JULY, EVERYBODY!
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