Headbutts And Groin Kicks… A Little Late Edition

• Golden Tate. Are you kidding me? Not only were his catches spectacular, they were… yes they were spectacular. I was screaming “Recognize! Golden Tate Motherfuckers!” like I was a gansta rapper from the 90’s. Minus the Tec-9 and sweet bandanna.
• Duval Kamara. Behold, the mighty slant.
• John Carlson. Justice was served as Carlson nabbed the first TD of the season. He deserves better than this.
• Jimmy Clausen. First TD pass and he played pretty well before he was succumbed to injury.
• Evan Sharpley. Coming off the bench he looked, dare I say it… Montanaesque. (Of course Joe would have won the game)
• Corwin Brown. It seems he is taking some shit for being emotional on the sideline and celebrating with his players. Tim Prister is a douche bag. I’m glad he can relate to the players and have their trust. Typical, from a white, middle-aged, ass-clown. Hey CB, I’ll give ya a chest bump… now coach.
• Chris Stewart and Family. I’m sure you’ve heard the the HUMAN PLANET Chris Stewart has returned to the team. The last thing we needed was less depth at the O-Line. Now run some laps.

Groin Kicks

• Darrin Walls. It’s hard for me to give these to a cornerback. I played the position and realize how demanding it is and how much of an island you are on. But, you still need your nuts kicked in when you play as poorly as Darrin did. Purdue has his number, star 69 those bitches next year.
• The ENTIRE kicking game. Two missed extra points is two too many.
• Andre Ware. If you watched the game (unlike Beetle’s punk ass) you know what I’m talking about. Heisman winners that do jack shit in the NFL should not broadcast. Be more like Jason White… and disappear.
• Brian Smith. Stop the cheap shots… unless you can get away with it.
• Offensive Line. Only 2 sacks, but your starter was knocked out of the game and short yard situations might as well be 10+.
• Mark May. I don’t need your sympathy… bitch.